Yankee Candle Reviews: Haunted Hayride

Stoney Keeley offers up his thoughts on Haunted Hayride on the latest edition of Yankee Candle Reviews.

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Hello, and welcome in to the latest edition of Yankee Candle Reviews here on SoBros Network. I will be your host – the Fragrance Aficionado of SoBros Network, also the EIC, Stoney Keeley. My passion for Yankee Candle began in 2006, when I strolled into the location in Providence Marketplace in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. I picked up a jar of Autumn Woods, and found it captured the essence of the season perfectly. I’ve been hooked in this…well, you could even call it ‘romantic…’ relationship with Yankee Candle ever since. Today, I’ll be sharing my thoughts on the wonderful Halloween fragrance, Haunted Hayride.

Folks, there is still plenty of time to get Haunted Hayride before this year’s Halloween festivities. Even if you don’t burn it all before Halloween, which is honestly unlikely because Yankee Candle makes boss ass candles that last for what feels like an eternity, it’ll still be good next year. In case y’all were wondering, candles do not expire. The more you know.

Anyway, Haunted Hayride is a fantastic fragrance to fill your home during Spooky Season. Y’all know my taste by now – I like those Earthy, dead leaves kind of scents this time of year, reserving the sweet pumpkin scents for November and the lead-up to Thanksgiving. According to Yankee Candle, “this aromatic woody scent opens with a purifying charcoal accord and warming spice notes of black pepper and nutmeg.” Haunted Hayride has hints of sawdust according to my nose – I definitely get that hint of charcoal and the faintest sniff of black pepper. It’s excellent – like a burning cauldron in a witch’s hut in the middle of nowhere when you’re about to be eaten alive and/or sacrificed to the devil. You just can’t beat it – it’s like the breath of the dirtiest witch you can find on the back of your neck. Gosh, I’m getting hot and bothered just thinking about it. That’s what Haunted Hayride is all about – pure sacrificial sex.

Recommended burning: In the center of your witches circle, immediately after you’ve sliced your hand open and made a blood pact and/or sacrificed a goat, and you are dancing naked under a full moon. Too dark? Okay, too dark…so, just like…anytime near or around Halloween works, too.

YANKEE CANDLE REVIEWS

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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