Thanksgiving is just around the corner. The holidays are in the air. It is the time for overindulgence, and hey – we’re all going to gain a few pounds. No judging here – I’ve already unbuttoned my jeans. ‘Tis the season. If you don’t think I’m about to house an entire dish of stuffing and an entire green bean casserole next week, then you don’t know me. I’ll never tell you to not do something you want to, even if it means your heart might explode from eating too much. So, yeah – it’s Planet Fitness up in this bitch – a judgment free zone. Anyway, Hershey is taking the Thanksgiving dessert game to a whole ‘nother level this year with the release of this massive Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup pie.
The Hershey Co. HSY, -0.12%, the candy and snack giant behind the Reese’s brand of cups and other treats, rolled out on Monday a 3.4-pound version of the peanut-butter-and-chocolate favorite to time with the Thanksgiving holiday. But Hershey officials said its run of 3,000 of the Reese’s “pie” — yes, it referred to it that way — sold out online in less than two hours (or one hour and 57 minutes, to be exact).
This thing is almost 8,000 damn calories! This thing weighs 3.4 pounds! Unbelievable – I thought I knew what decadent was. Shows how much I know! Hershey said, “these idiots think they’ve seen the most ridiculously decadent Thanksgiving dessert? Let’s show ’em” and then they let their massive nuts swing. Nothing but respect to Hershey’s for seeing the obesity epidemic in this country and saying “fuck that – here’s a cinderblock of chocolate and peanut butter.” They know their audience and their going to feed ’em no matter what.
Now, the suggestion for this thing is for it to feed 48 people, and honestly that sounds like more of a challenge than a dietary suggestion. But, I’m not going to lie. This would be a massive challenge for me to eat more than one piece of this thing. I’m not a big sweets guy, so I’d be two bites into my second piece and my tum tum would be aching. I want to see a team of people take this on and just see what kind of damage they could do. I won’t get the chance because this thing was such a huge hit that it sold out in less than two hours. But, a man can dream right. Happy Thanksgiving.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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