Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
STAN’S PICKS
Tough go for your boy lately. Another 2-3 week. Also permanently banned on Twitter for telling Dillon Danis I hope he gets knocked the fuck out. Also currently delayed in an airport while I write this. It is raining shit on Stan. Let’s win some money.
- Pitt -6.5. Let’s get a Thursday W under the belt.
- Boise St -13.5. Blue field advantage.
- Clemson under 51. Ugly game. Zero offense.
- Tampa Bay -9.5. It just feels right.
- Titans -2.5. One time Tennessee, come through for your boy.
Steven’s Picks
Well going to Disney World didn’t help my luck any, so maybe I’m just destined to to be a 40% picker. I refuse to believe this is my calling. Gotta remain positive and wish a winning week into fruition.
- Pitt -6.5
- Memphis -4.5
- Hawaii -3.5
- Arizona -10.5
- LA Rams -4
Stoney’s Picks
I just squirted out a winning week last week with that under on Sunday Night Football. I also realize how much I hate starting any sentence with “I just squirted.” Anyway, even though we’ve cooled off in the last couple of weeks, we still have a pretty damn good thing going this season. Let’s keep the train rolling.
- Auburn -6.5 – To me, this one’s about who you trust more, and I trust Auburn, at home, with their run game and defense to pull away against Mississippi State (that has a knack for losing close games, mind you) in the 4th quarter.
- Kentucky @ Vanderbilt, UNDER 52.5 – Does and/or will anyone even care about this game?
- Texas A&M -2.5 – The Aggies are too hot right now. Sorry, Steven.
- LSU +2.5 – It’s way too easy to take Arkansas in this spot after LSU expended all that energy against Alabama last week, and I recognize that as a Jedi mind trick from Vegas. Big brain shit. This one’s in Baton Rouge at night, and I don’t care what’s going on with the coaching staff, that’s a tough environment to play in.
- Bills @ Jets, OVER 47.5 – Don’t give up on this Bills offense just yet. This is still a talented group even if Josh Allen did look like the old Josh Allen a week ago. Not to mention, this Jets offense is quietly moving the ball pretty well with Mike White, who is BACK in a starting role this week. I think this one could be a sneaky fireworks show.
Also, for the record, I am 100% on board with the team in hammering Pitt -6.5 tonight. I just wanted to pick a different game to be different, y’know?
SEASON STATS
- Stan last week: (2-3)
- Stan’s 2021 W-L: (29-20-1) – 59.2%
- Steven last week: (2-3)
- Steven’s 2021 W-L: (19-27-4) – 41.3%
- Stoney last week: (3-2)
- Stoney’s 2021 W-L: (27-23) – 54%
- SoBros last week: (7-8) – 46.6%
- SoBros 2021 W-L: (75-70-5) – 51.7%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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