Tank the 401k Gambling Picks: 11/4/21

After a week that brought the team back down to Earth a bit, the gang tries to get right in this week's Tank the 401k!

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Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.

STAN’S PICKS

Losing week last week. 2-3. Can’t win them all, or can we? We bounce back this week. I am in my own head btw – I feel like every play here is a sure win which makes me think they are losses. Makes sense?

Ohio State/ Nebraska under 64.5 – I know I just said unders are no fun but I don’t think Nebraska scores here.
Wake Forest +2.5 – I have won a few times on them this year. This line seems strange. but I’ve learned with them, they are just not respected as a team in the gambling community. Take the points and move on.
Michigan St -3 – Huh? Did I get a bad line? Hammer it.
Raiders -3 – like Wake Forest, no respect for Team Renfrow.
Cardinals -1 – Again. Did I get a bad line? How is this possible?

Steven’s Picks

I’m currently at the Happiest Place On Earth and as far away from my horrendous picks as possible. Maybe a change of scenery will do my gambling picks some good. While I’m floating through It’s A Small World and screaming while dropping to my death on Tower of Terror, check out my picks and tread with caution.

App St. -21.5
Bills -14.5
Rams -7.5
Pitt -21.5
Wake Forest +2.5

Stoney’s Picks

OOF – all 2-3 on the Tank the 401k team last week after going on our hottest streak of the season so far. Honestly, it was looking pretty dire at one point on Sunday, and I thought it could’ve been a lot worse than 6-9 on the week. Nonetheless, we trek on, baby!

Texas A&M -4.5 – I love the Aggies in this spot – they’re at home, they’re starting to get Zach Calzada going, Isaiah Spiller is electric, they have a stifling defensive front. I think there are going to be some big plays in this one. But, full disclosure – I keep picking against Auburn, and they keep winning, so who knows?
Oregon -6 – The Ducks are tricky this year because they’ve been so inconsistent. You’ve really got to pick your match-ups with this team, but I love this one with their strong run game going against a suspect Washington defense.
Baylor -6.5 – Baylor goes to TCU and puts their season to bed, officially.
New England -3.5 – Mac Jones is finding his rhythm, but this one’s all about Damien Harris coming on in the run game for me. The Pats are gettin’ a little somethin’ somethin’ together here.
Titans-Rams, UNDER 53.5 – I think this game is going to be a lot more competitive than people are giving the Titans credit for. But, I could totally see the Rams break this one open in the 4th quarter and end up covering, so I’m staying the hell away from that 7.5-point line. These are two talented defenses. The Titans will be trying to readjust to life without Derrick Henry. It’s prime time – a big game…I wouldn’t be surprised this one be more about which defense blinks first.

SEASON STATS

Stan last week: (2-3)
Stan’s 2021 W-L: (27-17-1) – 61.3%
Steven last week: (2-3)
Steven’s 2021 W-L: (17-24-4) – 41.5%
Stoney last week: (2-3)
Stoney’s 2021 W-L: (24-21) – 53.3%
SoBros last week: (6-9) – 40%
SoBros 2021 W-L: (68-62-5) – 52.3%

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley