We here at SoBros Network pride ourselves on giving you the journalism that you need with the integrity you deserve. That’s our motto – it’s on the billboard that I’ve designed in my head but don’t have the money to actually run somewhere. I’ve been confused before in my life – just wanting to be naked but not really knowing what to do with myself from there. I feel your pain. I wish someone had written a guide of the top 10 things to do in the nude for me when I was at that crossroads in my life. But, such a thing didn’t exist. So, I would like to give back to the ‘confused and naked’ community by proposing a list of activities that you too can perform while totally butt ass naked. I even turned to the streets of Twitter to ask others what they thought were some of the greatest exercises to perform while naked – you’ll find their responses below.
Editor’s note: Yes, I know it’s “buck naked,” but “butt naked” is 100 times funnier.
Join the Conversation
Sex is a good one
— The Great ColumBolo (@greatcolumbolo) November 15, 2021
Pooping
— who decides what’s the bottom of all this? (@xwilkmanx) November 15, 2021
Small engine repair
— Sox, kid (@trtidwell) November 15, 2021
Tickle fight
— Ryan Watson (@RyanOnBroadway) November 15, 2021
Grocery shopping. Makes it easier to navigate the store when people run away from you
— Brett (@Ones_Zeros) November 15, 2021
Cooking bacon.
— Joe Baltz (@JoeBaltz) November 15, 2021
Marbles
— Toretto (@solodolo271) November 15, 2021
Slalom Skiing pic.twitter.com/ztueq7x5Gn
— TitanTheCollector (8-4) (@collector_titan) November 15, 2021
The Top 10 Things to Do in the Nude
10. Pillow fight – The pillow fight can be good fun in the nude, but it ranks lower on the list because if you take a full goose down feather pillow to the bare dick, you’re going to be in some pain.
9. Bathe – Much better in the nude than it is fully clothed.
8. Walk around the gym locker room – Just ask any old man about this one. I haven’t seen an official list, but I would say this is probably the #1 leisure activity of men aged 70+.
7. Cook – That’s right. You hit your partner with the old 2-for-1 and some action is bound to go down. They think they’re just getting a fine five star meal, and then you turn around and expose your bare ass. That’s an exhilarating moment – you go from thinking you’re going to get an exquisite meal to realizing you’re going to get an exquisite meal -and- an A+ thrashing in the sheets. Love to see it.
6. Exercise – Don’t let that restrictive clothing limit your range of motion. If you want to maximize your workout, you need to walk out onto the Planet Fitness floor butt ass naked.
5. Tickle fight – I love this submission from our friend Ryan because it’s about efficiency, and I love efficiency. It just makes it easier when all of your opponent’s most vulnerable tickle spots are out there in the open, y’know? It levels the playing field.
4. Pooping – Wilkman dropped this galaxy brain submission, and I was immediately reminded of how infinitely more relieving it is to take off all your clothes to get a demon out of your system.
3. Two hand touch football – Our friend Brett submitted this one, and I love it. I would actually expand it to all sports. Every sport should be conducted fully in the nude to test the mettle of each competitor just as the ancient Greeks intended.
2. Sex – Anyone that has ever had sex would probably agree that it at least belongs on the Mount Rushmore of things to do while naked. Hopefully, I’ll get to experience that one day.
1. Swimming – Sex is great and all, but have you ever felt the rush of cool water liberating your dangle-down from its prison of gravity? Have you ever felt the refreshing sensation of cool water permeating your taint? It just may be the most refreshing and cleansing feeling in the world. It should be acceptable to do anywhere in the world at any time.
If you didn’t get the chance to weigh in on the initial conversation, feel free to join in in the comments section below.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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