Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, from Ryan on Instagram:
What’s up with the phrase “sugar tits”?
Answer:
Y’know – I’ve wondered the same thing before. Sometimes, it’s a derogatory term. Sometimes, it’s a term of endearing lust, delivered straight from a man’s burning loins. I have no idea. I have no idea what it actually means, and I’m getting conflicting reports in my research:
- Wikipedia: “Sugar tit is a folk name for a baby pacifier, or dummy, that was once commonly made and used in North America and Britain. It was made by placing a spoonful of sugar, or honey, in a small patch of clean cloth, then gathering the cloth around the sugar and twisting it to form a bulb.”
- Urban Dictionary: “Describing a female with a deligtfully sweet bosom; a delicious pair of breasts.”
- It is also a town in South Carolina
I don’t know what the fuck to make of all this. But, maybe as a general rule, we should just be more respectful when we’re talking about tiddies, cloth honey pacifiers, and/or towns in South Carolina.
Question, from Jesse on Instagram:
What happens if the minds are not right and the asses are not tight?
Answer:
I’ll tell ya – nothing. Nothing happens if the minds aren’t right and the asses aren’t tight. And, that’s exactly where I’m at right now. I must be part bear (save your jokes) because I just want to hibernate at this time of the year. It’s fucking bitterly cold outside. The days are short. I just want to hide under a blanket, watch TV, and eat junk food all day every day until spring. It’s been hard to find the motivation to get the mind right and the ass tight, and because of it, the last couple of weeks have been sluggish. I’m workin’ on it, though.
Question:
Have you ever just sat down and read a book from beginning to end in one sitting? Personally I don’t think I have the attention span to do it.
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) January 21, 2022
Answer:
If I have the free time, absolutely – I could do it. The closest I’ve come recently is with Edgar Cantero’s Meddling Kids (Amazon link if anyone wants to give it a shot). I thought it would be a good Spooky Season read, but that’s usually a busy time of year for me, so I read like 24 pages and then put a bookmark in it. Didn’t pick it up again until one winter day last year when I was caught up on work, there was no football, and I had nowhere to be. I sat in my recliner after breakfast and just read the rest of the book in one sitting. It’s such an easy and fun read.
The only other book that comes to mind is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – I was obsessed with Harry Potter in junior high, and that book happened to come out in the summer time, so I was out of school. That book was a LOAD – but I finished it in three days! Three fuckin’ days! I dare say it kind of ruined my sustained enjoyment of it. That’s the thing – sometimes, I want to really savor a story and immerse myself in it. So, I like to take my time on most books anyway.
Question…err….statement….from E on Instagram:
I’m literally just tryna get like this rn
Answer:
This is in reference to call for mailbag questions on Instagram, live from my recliner in a comfy hoodie and a blanket draped over me.
Honestly, yeah – that’s how I’ve been for two weeks now, but it’s not a “good” cozy. It’s a “holy shit I have so much to do that I can do nothing” cozy. Kinda like I referenced answering Jesse’s question – it’s just hard to find the motivation to do anything, and with the day job stressing me out along with some major hiccups in my personal life, it’s hard for me to sit down and focus. So, it’s not a restful relaxation…it’s a mental exhaustion my-body-might-be-shutting-down-on-me relaxation.
E……I don’t think you really wanna get like this rn.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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