Let’s face it – whether I love it or hate it, nothing on SoBros Network works like our drinking games. I’m beginning to think that that’s all some of y’all come to our site for. Nonetheless, it’s a tradition unlike any other. Ever since getting sloshed and watching the Buccaneers dominate the Chiefs, I’ve eagerly anticipated the next Super Bowl Sunday, when I could sit, drink, watch football, and go on the emotional roller coaster that is the inevitable realization that football will be gone from my life for the next six months. I’m sorry that took a dark turn. I sound a bit depressed, and perhaps I am, but this should be a joyous occasion.
So, let’s get to work – we pride ourselves on being the official unofficial king of the drinking game. We write ’em for all the big football weekends, and for all of the big pro wrestling shows. Shit, couldn’t you just feel the testosterone in that last sentence?
Anyway, Super Bowl 56 – its the Cincinnati Bengals and it’s the Los Angeles Rams. The Rams are currently favored by four, with a point total set at over/under of 48.5. So, it looks like it’s going to be a close one from SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. LFG – let’s. fuckin’. go.
Super Bowl 56 Drinking Game
TAKE A DRINK IF/WHEN…
- Someone mentions that the Rams are basically playing a home Super Bowl. Drink twice if they say this is the second year in a row this has happened. Drink thrice if they specifically mention “playing in their own backyard.” Drink a fourth time if they mention that the Rams “slept in their own beds this week.”
- The age of either/both head coaches is mentioned.
- Either team’s defense registers a takeaway.
- Either team’s defense registers a sack.
- Joe Burrow or Matthew Stafford throws a touchdown.
- Odell Beckham Jr. or Tee Higgins catches a pass.
- Aaron Donald gets a tackle for loss (yes this would technically be a double drink for a sack).
- The Bengals line up in an empty set.
- Cooper Kupp or Ja’Marr Chase amasses 20 yards receiving. Yes, this means take a drink for every 20 yards either guy amasses.
- You notice Eli Apple getting toasted in coverage.
- Someone mentions all the time Stafford spent with the Detroit Lions.
- We hear about the Sean McVay “coaching tree.”
- The Bengals winning four games last year is mentioned.
- You see a photo of Joe Burrow wearing some slick sunglasses. Double drink if it’s paired with a Kid Cudi reference.
TAKE A SHOT IF/WHEN…
- We get a look at Leonardo DiCaprio in the crowd
- Anyone scores a touchdown of 50+ yards.
- Either team converts a 4th down.
- Either team scores a defensive or special teams touchdown.
- Finally, raise a glass of your poison of choice and do a shot at the end of the game, no matter the outcome. Cheers to another fun football season in the books!
As always, folks. Have fun, but stay safe and drink responsibly. If you drink, don’t drive. Do the watermelon crawl.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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