Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
Not saying this should actually happen but fantasy cast a ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ remake.
— brett (@thebrettclark) February 10, 2022
Answer:
Brett, for the sake of full transparency here on the SoBros Mailbag, I don’t think I’ve seen Smokey and the Bandit since I was a kid watching it with my old man on a lazy Sunday. It’s one of those movies that I know was on in my household quite a bit, but I just don’t remember anything about it. I have posed this question to the larger SoBros Network group for someone more qualified to answer and will update you if/when I receive it.
Update:
From Brittany: “I have also never seen it but throw Robert Pattinson in as bandit”
From Cadbury: “Danny McBride as Enos”
Question:
Would you rather be able to fly with fried chickens wings sprouting out of your back or have really cool eagle/crow/angel/whatever wings that were purely aesthetic?
— Rooster (@SoBroRooster) February 10, 2022
Answer:
After much deliberation, I think I’m going to fly with the fried chicken wings sprouting out of my back. Just being able to fly would be really cool, and I don’t really care what I’d look like if I could fucking FLY. I feel like the aesthetic wings would just get in the way of daily life and I don’t like that. I’m a generally annoyed person enough as it is. Don’t need to be stepping on stupid wings to enhance that.
Question:
You like the new Commanders nickname? What would your expansion team be called?
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) February 11, 2022
Answer:
Here’s my hot take, Patrick: I actually dug the Washington Football Team. It was so dumb and different that it worked somehow. I can’t explain it – it just felt like it was fun to say. The new Commanders unis look like XFL uniforms, especially that black one, man….I just don’t know. As far the name itself, it wouldn’t have been my first choice. I really liked the Washington Redtails nickname, but Commanders makes sense…I get it. I just can’t shake the XFL vibes and probably won’t be able to until Commanders becomes a little more entrenched in our football lexicon.
Question:
You like puppy breath or no? I’ve witnessed people react very oddly over their love of puppy breath. I don’t get it
— Cad P. (@SoBroCadbury) February 10, 2022
Answer:
I’m not a big dog guy in general – much too demanding of time and attention. So, I definitely don’t understand the infatuation with puppy breath. I remember having puppies as a kid and absolutely hating their breath. I don’t get it either.
Question, from Steven on Facebook:
Can you trust people who eat one thing at a time? I sure as hell can’t. I’ll never understand how someone eats all of their fries before eating a bite of their burger.
Answer:
Y’know….I can’t say that I ever really notice how people eat their food. Maybe this is the secret measure of whether or not someone is trustworthy and I’ve never stopped to think about it. But, y’know…I consider myself to be a pretty trustworthy person, and on occasion, I’ll get in a zone where I’m just really into one dish and I can’t help myself from finishing it off before moving onto the rest of the meal. I don’t generally do that, but I have before. So, I don’t know. I think we might have to take this one to Unsolved Mysteries, Steven.
Question, from Aura on IG:
Appointment viewing TV … what do you make time to sit down and watch ? (Like Super Bowl)
Answer:
The Super Bowl is definitely one – I’m also that way for the Conference Championships, the NFL Draft, WrestleMania, and really a lot of sporting events. As far as shows go, the only shows I’ve ever really cleared my schedule for are Game of Thrones and True Detective. But, doesn’t it feel like the good old fashioned ritual of saving a block of time and dedicating it to a show has been lost to time? With the advent of streaming services and DVR, it’s not like we’re making plans for stuff like this anymore because we have the convenience of, by and large, watching whenever we want to – used to, I made sure to be home by 6PM for the prime slate of Nicktoons before Nick at Nite took over. Simpler times, I guess.
Question, from Owen on IG:
best dinner you had this week?
Answer:
Man, this is a hell of a week to ask this question. I have been ON FIRE in the kitchen this year, cranking out some pomegranate-glazed chicken, some Old Bay turkey cakes, Nashville hot chicken tendies, Nashville hot pork chops, apple chai crockpot oatmeal, a chicken roast with chickpeas, tomatoes, and garlic….all KINDS of stuff. But, not this week – no, instead we’ve been just slinging stuff together as we go, and last night, I gorged myself on Papa John’s. Steven and I made our drive home from Mobile covering the Senior Bowl on Sunday, and that’s usually our grocery day. But, we didn’t go because I was tired af after riding in the car for seven hours and I had to watch the Senior Bowl back to evaluate the offensive line play. The result was us having no meal plans for the week, and cooking spaghetti and easy shit like that from stuff we found in the pantry. I’ll say Aura’s dinner on Wednesday night was the MVP of the week, though – we had a turkey sausage that needed to be sliced up and cooked, so she paired it with some pasta, alfredo sauce, and a bag of frozen onions and peppers to make this creamy riff on sausage and peppers. I ate two bowls and left NO leftovers for the next day.
Question, from [REDACTED] on IG:
Have you ever met Malone Brown?
Answer:
I’m not touching that one, buddy.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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