Looks Like the Amarillo Zoo Got Themselves a Brand New Cryptid

It would appear as though the folks at the Amarillo Zone have a brand new cryptid on their hands. Wonder what wormhole this thing crawled out of.

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People hear the word ‘cryptid’ and automatically just think ‘Bigfoot.’ But, I’m tellin’ y’all – there’s a whole cryptid game to keep up with. I love it – you gotta keep tabs on what’s popping up out there the same way you gotta keep tabs on box scores throughout the baseball season. There’s so much going on that you have to pay attention to stay afloat. We’ve talked about all manner of cryptids on SoBros Network. I don’t know how we ended up being a cryptid brand, but I’m here for it. SoBros Network – Sports. Humor. Entertainment. Cryptids. Anyway, I’m rambling.

Point is, there’s a lot of depth to the cryptid game, and there’s often some really fun folklore style legends that accompany the stories behind ’em. Bigfoot is so mainstream, but look up the story of the Jersey Devil, and the rich history surrounding the Mothman (which Rooster and I have covered in-depth on Phone It In, and of which Rooster wrote a SoBros Award-winning article about). All of this is why I get so geeked out of my damn mind when I see stories like this one that just might lead to the discovery of a new legend in its own right.

Courtesy of News4 San Antonio:

Around 1:25 a.m. on May 21, security cameras inside a perimeter fence at the zoo “captured a strange image.” “Was it a person with a strange hat who likes to walk at night? A large coyote on its hind legs? A Chupacabra? It is a mystery – for Amarillo to help solve,” said the city.

I have to give credit to Rooster for the absolute best joke I could have ever dreamt of writing about this story: “Honey wake up, new cryptid just dropped.” I laughed so fucking hard when I saw that.

Nonetheless, we do indeed have a new cryptid to break down. Does it look like it’s probably just some guy randomly walking around and the photo is kind of distorted by bugs/haze/fog/whatever? Sure. That seems completely plausible, though I will also point out that if it is just a guy walking around outside the zoo in the middle of the night, that is some weirdo behavior. But, a coyote on its hind legs? WTF? Is that something that happens? Do coyotes just randomly hop up on two legs and let their front legs hang down like human arms?

Woof – that last sentence is something to digest. Glad I don’t have a professor grading my work here on SoBros Network. Anyway, I’d like to think that this is a legit new cryptid that just crawled out of a weird wormhole somewhere from another dimension. Has anyone checked to see if the Amarillo Zoo falls on some ley lines? Might be a clue.

Another big component of cryptid culture is naming these creatures. I’d like to submit my idea – let’s call this thing ‘Guyote.’ Could be a coyote. Could just be a guy. Boom. There we go – this is a big win for the people of Amarillo today.

Also, this is the perfect time to go revisit my list of the top 10 cryptids of all time, and subscribe to Phone It In on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you take in shows. Rooster and I have talked about all kinds of cryptids on that show. Also, I can’t wait for someone to comment on this post and tell me that this is just a human.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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