Look, I’ll say this up front – nothing screams “having a good time” quite like setting something on fire. We don’t do it enough, in my opinion, because it does obviously have some potential pitfalls in it. You could legitimately burn someone’s house down, or even burn them alive. So, y’know….not ideal outcomes. But, I still maintain, per my journalistic opinion, that the quickest way to let everyone around you know that you are having a great time is to set something on fire. Even if you’re at a wedding, fires very rarely dim the mood. It really gets the people going. Let’s take this drunk man at a wedding as an example.
This how drunk I’m tryna be at my wedding pic.twitter.com/RchInxywDa
— Thomas (@ThomasMightSnap) July 2, 2022
I cannot stress to you guys enough how impressed I am by this man’s poise. It’s incredible.
I mean, first of all, he seems real fun…like the type of guy you’d just love having a beer with, y’know? You could take this man clubbing and you know he’d keep you company on the dance floor all night long. I’d never have to worry about having a dancing partner again. Let the good times roll.
Second of all, I love that while everyone around him is in a full-on panic, he just calmly stares at the fire for a few seconds, as if he’s admiring its beauty, and then instincts kick in and those instincts tell him to just take his arm and shove the fire onto the ground. Which…actually works…’cause I’m pretty sure that’s just gravel. So, it was actually a pretty smart move to just knock it off before it could take the barrel, too. Really weird how that worked out.
And, finally – all of this excitement doesn’t even hinder his desire to party one bit. He’s immediately back at it, even as those around him look on in shock and awe. Nerves of steel, I tell ya. Nerves of steel.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.