Tank the 401k Gambling Picks: 9/15/22

The team is off to a rocky start, but there's only one way to dig yourself out of a hole....KEEP DIGGING!

Share This Post

Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.

STEVEN’S PICKS

UGA -25 – South Carolina has proven they can score points this season, but they have yet to face a defense the caliber of Georgia’s. The Bulldogs came into the season with a target on their back after winning the national championship last season. The big question mark was their defense after losing so many pieces to graduation and the NFL. That question seems to have been answered after only allowing three points in their first two games combined.
Oklahoma -11 – Look, I know this game is in Lincoln and the Cornhuskers should come out and play with a lot of emotion, but I have no idea how they are only an 11-point underdog in this game. Nebraska has lost 18 straight against Top 25 opponents and the Sooners stingy defense should make it 19. Oklahoma has allowed only one touchdown this season while compiling a nation-best 23 tackles for loss.
UCLA -15.5 – Just because Marshall, App State and Georgia Southern have done it this season doesn’t mean I believe South Alabama has a shot in hell in upsetting the Bruins this week. UCLA is looking to go into Pac-12 play undefeated and has won both games this year by an average of 24 points. The Bruins have outscored their opponents 35-0 in the second half which will allow them to pull away from the Jaguars as they move to 3-0 on the year.
Ole Miss -16.5 – The Rebels have one of the stingiest defenses in the nation after two weeks. They’ve only allowed 13 points total and rank in the top 10 nationally in sacks and turnovers. Georgia Tech is 1-9 against Top 25 teams under head coach Geoff Collins and there’s no reason why Ole Miss can not add to the Yellow Jackets struggles against top teams.
Vanderbilt ML – I do not want the 2.5 points. Vanderbilt is going to win this one straight up regardless of who is under center. I bet on them to win over 2.5 games this season and after starting 2-1 this is their best and maybe only shot at picking up a third W. Anchor Down!

STONEY’S PICKS

A solid week for your boy, going a 4-1 that could’ve easily been a 5-1 had I actually had the guts to pull the trigger on my Texans +7.5 bet. Let’s try to keep this train rolling.

Chiefs -4.5 – Even though it burned me last week, I’m dipping back into the Thursday Night Football pool for this one. Patrick Mahomes simply owns the Chargers. This one could get spicy, but I like the Chiefs to take the lead and win it by a touchdown.
Penn State -3.5 – What’s up with this one? Have you guys seen Auburn play this season? These look like two totally different programs.
Texas A&M -5.5 – As much as I want to believe that the U is back, what reason have they given us recently to trust that they are? I think the Aggies will be out for blood after their embarrassing loss a week ago, and they’re well aware that it’s Week 3 and their season’s already on the brink.
USC -12.5 – All due respect to Fresno State, but the Trojans are rolling right now. This is going to be a step up in competition, sure, but I like what Caleb Williams and Jordan Addison are cooking right now.
Ravens -3.5 – Sheesh, they’re going to be good. This one could be a surprisingly fun game, but I like the Ravens to beat the Dolphins up a bit.
CONDITIONAL PICK: Titans +10.5 @ Buffalo – I love the Titans as a double digit underdog. We’ve seen them over-perform in situations such as this one a million times before under Mike Vrabel. I don’t LOVE the line at 9.5, but smart money is expecting that line to jump out to 10.5 before the game on Monday. If it does, pounce on it.

SEASON STATS

Steven last week: (1-4)
Steven’s 2021 W-L: (4-9) – 30.7%
Stoney last week: (4-1)
Stoney’s 2022 W-L: (9-5) – 64.3%
SoBros last week: (5-5) – 40%
SoBros 2022 W-L: (13-14) – 48.1%

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley