Hell yeah, folks. You read that headline correctly. Only the finest of culinary institutions make it on to ‘Nashville Reviews’ here on SoBros Network, and today, I’m going to be writing about an American icon: the Krystal burger. It’s small. It’s compact. And, it has mastered the complex flavor of savory, tangy, and buttery in the simplest of fashions – just beef, a soft bun, onions, mustard, and pickles.
I’ve loved Krystal for about as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I had to go to the doctors office or the dentist, and we’d always get Krystal afterwards as a treat. I can remember how knowing I was going to get that greasy goodness eased some of my anxiety a bit, and actually, now that I’m saying that out loud, I think I understand the psychology behind why I default to fast food when I get stressed out. Wild – we’re breaking down mental barriers in this Krystal review.
Anyway, I always love a good trip to the Krystal, and I keep a mental note whenever I pass one so that I know if I’m ever in that part of town again, I’ll know where to look. I know I’m a redneck for this one, but if you guys haven’t learned this about me yet, I’m comfortable in my own skin and I make no apologies for it. Now, let’s talk Krystal.
Pics
Ratings
Food: 6.89/10 – So, they’ve changed up their fries since the last time I’ve been there. They remind me a lot of Captain D’s fries, and that’s a good thing because I have always thought that Captain D’s had the best and most underrated fries in the fast food game. They’ve also upped their chicken game since the last time I’ve been there. The chiks were a lot thicker and juicier, and that sounds a lot more sexual than I intended it to. I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about Krystal onions that rule harder than any other onions on the planet. I also think their chili and cheese have distinctive greasy qualities. Soft, warm, buttery buns and the tang of mustard and pickle make this one of the best burger experiences in the fast food world. I am a ride-or-die for Krystal.
Booze: n/a – but can you imagine getting drunk at the Krystal? That sounds like paradise to me.
Atmosphere: 1/10 – I can’t think of too many places on Earth that are sadder than an empty Krystal dining room, hearing my voice echo off the walls as I try to find a single table in the dining room that doesn’t have the remnants of someone else’s meal on it.
Value: 6.34/10 – You just can’t beat it. Enough food to put me into a food coma, and I’m not even sure we spent $25 for two people. You can’t eat anywhere for that cheap these days. If I’m putting together a fast food Mount Rushmore, Krystal is probably on it. The haters will be furious.
Overall: 4.74/10 – You know what you go to Krystal for. You load up on greasy fast food for cheap. It’s a nice outside-the-box option…a departure from the more marketed fast food chains. But, to me, the quality is much, much better. I love you Krystal, and I always will.
CURRENT NASHVILLE RESTAURANT RANKINGS
- Audrey (8.82/10)
- Butcher & Bee (8.5/10)
- Nectar: Urban Cantina (8.44/10)
- Barcelona Wine Bar (8.23/10)
- Dino’s (8.22/10)
You can check out our full Nashville restaurant rankings here. I’m always looking for new spots to try – don’t be afraid to hit the comments with suggestions!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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