I will not pretend to understand gun show culture. I don’t get it. I never have, and I probably never will. There is nothing exciting about it to me. Every gun show I’ve been to has just been looking at the same three to four types of guns ten thousand times over on different tables. It’s fine – you do you, baby, and I will do me. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a glorified railing of people who go to gun shows. I’m just pointing out that I’m a little out of my depth when I’m trying to get inside the mind of a gun show patron. What I do understand, though, is context and humiliation. Believe me – I picked up on context clues before I even knew what context or clues were. And, there’s no doubt in my mind that my 36 years on this Earth have been littered with humiliation. So, I do feel justified in saying that the gun show is probably not somewhere that you want to get busted shooting yourself in the food.
A man was injured after shooting himself in the foot at a Virginia gun show, according to police.
Man, I’m sorry for being so blunt about this. I hope everyone is okay and all, but there is just no other way to put this: that has to look like the biggest bitch move possible in front of the gun show crowd. That is so embarrassing. It’s just like coughing whenever someone hands you a blunt. Coincidentally, that’s why I’ve never smoked anything that anyone has ever handed me. Just paralyzed with fear of looking like a fool. But, the gun show? Where everyone is either a hard-nosed tough guy OR a veritable frontiersman? Shit. That’s what makes this so bad. It’s like shitting yourself on stage at the Grammys. It’s that bad. I feel embarrassed for this guy.
How do you no-sell a gun shot wound? You know this is like when you bump your head on something but you just keep moving because the embarrassment is outweighing the pain. Except, we’re talking about having a fucking bullet in your foot. This guy’s friends are never going to let him hear the end of this and quite frankly, I don’t think they should. Also, the gun show is off limits now – they can never let you back in after this, but really, you have to have the situational and emotional awareness to never even go back again. I’d imagine you just can’t show your face around your gun show buddies anymore after something like this.
The next time you think you’re having a bad day after you’ve done something mortifying, just remember this guy who shot his own foot at the gun show and that should give you the confidence boost you need to keep moving. All time L for this guy.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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