Tank the 401k Gambling Picks: 10/6/22

Steven and Stoney's game picks for the week are out! Tank the 401k is here!

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Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.

STEVEN’S PICKS

I’m going to blame being in the midst of Hurricane Ian last week as for the reason why my picks were as abysmal as they were. It’s officially Fall and Spooky Season has started as well so I am looking for a clean slate and to scare all of the sportsbooks out there by going 5-0 this week. LFG!

Tennessee -3 The Vols giving up 3 on the road does not scare me at all. If this game was at 7:00 instead of 11 then maybe I would be concerned because of all of the drunk Cajuns but regardless Big Orange goes in to Baton Rouge and handles business.
Texas/Oklahoma o65 The Big12 is a shell of its former self in 2022. Oklahoma St. stands as the premiere team in the league and that’s not saying much. Both UT and OU have proven they can put up points but in recent weeks have shown that their defenses can’t stop anyone. I see points galore in this one.
Ole Miss -17 Vanderbilt has already won their season trophy by winning 3 games. This West End team is vastly improved from years past but Lane Kiffin is going to be looking to make a statement now that the Rebels are in the Top 10.
Kentucky -6 At the start of the year I would have leaned towards the Gamecocks in this one because I truly thought they were ready to take the next step in the SEC. This year has not gone the way QB Spencer Rattler and company have wanted it to go and traveling to Lexington to face an angry Wildcats team is no easy hill to climb. I see a hungry UK defense returning a SC interception for a touchdown in this one as they coast to a victory.
Titans -2.5 Even with all of the injuries Tennessee has dealt with early on in the season, it just seems that they have righted the ship after beating division rival Indianapolis last week. Now the Commanders come in to town holding a 1-0 record against the AFC South this year. Despite the season opening win against Jacksonville, Washington has lost 3 straight by an average of 13 points and are giving up 112 yards a game on the ground. Put all of your money on the Titans and Derrick Henry to have a monster game.

STONEY’S PICKS

No idea why you guys are still even reading my picks. I’m having a Hall of Shame type of run here after starting off at 68% on the season. Dropped TEN percentage points. I’m in shambles. I’ve only gone 0-5 maybe….three times….in the entire time I’ve been working on this column….which has been nine years at this point. My wife is going to leave me. I’m going to lose my company. The world is turning against me and all I have left to do is butt chug this bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

Kansas +7 – TCU clearly looks like the better team, and I think you always wonder how long a streak can go with a team like Kansas. A lot of bets are coming in on TCU to cover this one, but I think this is the Jedi mind trick of the week. College Gameday is going to be in Lawrence for this one. These Jayhawks are going to be fired up. And, I think there’s a sneaky good match-up here in favor of Kansas in terms of how quickly they move on offense compared to TCU – so, if this turns into a shootout, it favors Kansas. Plus, there’s a valid question of TCU having a letdown on the road after a monumental beatdown of Oklahoma.
Florida -10.5 – Missouri can’t keep this train rolling where they’re gutting out these tough games against superior competition. They ran out of steam against Georgia last week, and Florida happens to have a backbreaker in the run game in Anthony Richardson. Mizzou’s defense is going to be flying all over the field trying to contain him, and they’re going to be worn down in the 4th quarter, allowing the Gators to pull away.
Kentucky -6 – South Carolina STINKS!
Eagles -5.5 – What are the Cardinals going to do when they keep turning the ball over against a good team that can actually make them pay? I just don’t think Arizona and Kyler Murray are very good this year.
Ravens -3 – The Ravens absolutely should be 4-0 at this point and considered among the best teams in the NFL if not THE best team in the NFL. They’ve got a great group there, and I’m not buying that the Bengals are actually good.

SEASON STATS

Steven last week: (2-3)
Steven’s 2021 W-L: (11-17) – 39.3%
Stoney last week: (0-5)
Stoney’s 2022 W-L: (14-15) – 48.3%
SoBros last week: (2-8) – 20%
SoBros 2022 W-L: (25-32) – 43.8%

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley