The future is now. Or, the future is ancient Greece. Wait – what? I don’t know. I might not fully understand what this story is insinuating here. Nevertheless, we have another gem from the #articleideas channel in the SoBros Slack. Today, we’re talkin’ time travel, and how some folks are looking at an old sculpture and thinking it shows a woman in ancient Greece using a laptop. That’s right – the idea is that they were browsing the web back in ancient times.
The sculpture depicts a woman sitting on an armchair as a slave stands in front of her, holding up a thin folding box. The mistress is seen touching the tip of the box, as her marble eyes gaze toward the upper section of it. However, some people have claimed that the box is actually the screen of a laptop, as along the side there are two holes that resemble a USB port, or other cable inputs.
I’m not posting the photo because it’s owned by Getty Images, and I do NOT want that smoke. So, forgive me for making you click the link, but go check it out and decide for yourself. What are we thinking here, though? Are we thinking that the slave traveled back in time with the laptop to show it to this lady? Because, holy fuck what a mistake that would be – could you imagine? We discover time travel, and we’re all thinking, “great, we can go back in time and make massive improvements upon quality of life and such,” and then they just lock you up and make you a slave. That would SUCK! That is 100% what would likely happen though. Imagine taking an iPhone to a group of cavemen – they’d just beat you over the head with their clubs until you died. You show someone a computer a few hundred years ago, and they’re calling you a witch and hanging you on the town square. Time travel is dangerous business and we don’t talk about that enough.
You know what I think? People didn’t even know how to read back then. That slave was probably showing her a book and she had no idea wtf to do with it. I think that’s the most plausible explanation here, but Ryan also had a good idea: “I think it’s a pizza delivery.”
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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