Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names, Year 9

We're back, baby! Another year of making up a bunch of random and nonsensical bowl names!

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I just simply can’t believe we’re on the NINTH year of Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names. It’s honestly one of my favorite pieces we run every year. Just because it’s so absurd and fun, but I don’t think I’ll ever write a better intro than I did several years ago, so let me trot that out again for 2022:

College football is weird, man. Not only can you not have a winning season and make it to a bowl game, but the millions of dollars floating around these games have created some pretty interesting names for the bowls themselves. There’s The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, The Dollar General Bowl, The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl, and The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl just to name a few. Those are real bowl names, too!

We haven’t even started listing our fake bowl names. That is real – and it’s a testament to the power of the dollar.

For the right price, you could slap any name on any bowl game, and ESPN and the NCAA would run with it. How else do you think the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl came to fruition?

So, yeah – what we’re doing here is providing a little bit of humor to get you through your work day. But, it’s also a bit of social commentary on the absurdity of the 80+ college football bowl games we’re getting ready to witness. It’s my favorite piece of the year.

On top of all of that, they hand out some really odd trophies. “Congrats on the fine season! Here’s this giant, polished BOWL OF ORANGES!” That tradition is made even weirder by the fact that the head coach, MVP, or someone usually starts taking the oranges out of the bowl and throwing them around to teammates. When did this become a thing?

Yeah – it’s crazy, but let’s cut the bullshit and get down to brass tacks – what follows is literally just a list of made-up bowl games. So, if you’re not into that, best be GTFO right now.

RIDICULOUSLY FABRICATED BOWL NAMES, YEAR 9

  • The OnlyFans Butt Plug Football Classic
  • The Surveillance State Bowl sponsored by Tik Tok
  • The XFL Concussion Bowl
  • The Denny’s ASMR Bowl of California
  • The For Your Consideration: Best Picture Bowl brought to you by Top Gun: Maverick
  • The Sensodyne Buck Tooth Bowl
  • Dwayne Johnson’s Tequila Bowl sponsored by Dwayne Johnson’s Tequila
  • The Just for Men Hair Plugs Bowl
  • Cheez-It Presents The FUCK I Love Cheez-Its Football and Cheese Extravaganza
  • The Chipotle Blowed Out Butt Bowl
  • The Frank Lloyd Wright Bowl sponsored by Taco John’s
  • The Broadway Sports Media Anything But Iowa-Kentucky Actual Music City Bowl
  • The Daddy Bowl brought to you by Halloween Ends, now on DVD and Blu-Ray
  • The Hardee’s Biscuit Fuck Bowl
  • Tom DeLonge’s Alien Football Invitational
  • The Marshall Tucker Band Bowl
  • The Trouble Spirits Gin Bowl
  • The Liver King Raw Meat Bowl (we promise it’s not steroids)
  • Instagram’s Granny Panty Bowl
  • The Detroit Free Press Xanax Bowl

SoBros Team Submissions

  • Outdoor SoBro: The Nashville Thanksgiving Leftover Bowl
  • Outdoor SoBro: Adam and Eve 15% off all Vibrators and Free Novelty Toy Holiday Bowl
  • Outdoor SoBro: The Ghislaine Maxwell Special Invitation Only Bowl
  • Outdoor SoBro: The Kanye West Love and Inclusion Bowl
  • Owen: The Ticketmaster Live Nation Ticket Scramble Bowl
  • Owen: Big Lots Blue Light Bowl
  • Outdoor SoBro: John Madden’s Pile of Turducken Bones Bowl
  • Owen: The Dolly Parton Titvitational Bowl 
  • Owen: The Global Warming December Sweat Bowl
  • Sean: The January 6th Bowl
  • Owen: The Narcan :tm:  Bowl
  • Sean: City Boy Bowl
  • Sean: The Poop Senders Bowl (legitimate and hilarious business)
  • Outdoor SoBro: The FTX Money Laundering and Mysterious Deaths Bowl
  • Outdoor SoBro: The Swingers’ Party Put Your Keys In The Bowl
  • McCash: The Netflix Bowl presented by Hulu and airing exclusively on Amazon Prime
  • McCash: The But Her E-Mails Bowl
  • Sean: The Lensa App Bowl

Twitter Submissions

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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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