Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, from Zach on Instagram:
Dear Stoney, what makes Abbott Elementary so great?
Answer:
Dear Zach, I have no idea, but I see it popping up on my Twitter feed all the time. To get you an adequate answer, I just typed your question into Google and according to the New York Times, it is “gifted and talented,” so I guess that’s what makes it so great.
On a side note, Zach and I have been on the same page about a lot of television shows, and his recommendations are usually on point. It’s a good track record, so if he’s saying it’s great, it’s probably great. I just don’t watch a lot of television. Ever since House of the Dragon ended, I have watched like eight episodes of Succession, and that’s it. I’m so behind on stuff. I don’t know why, but this question reminded me of how lost I felt when Zach and Lebowski started talking about video games at dinner one time – at least the TV questions I can kind of keep up with, but unless we’re talking about the Super Nintendo, I’m cooked in a video game conversation.
Question:
Celebrity Deathmatch. 6 fighter tournament. Who’re you putting in?
— Dom “Warm Beer” Oxenham-Morris (@doxom85) December 9, 2022
Answer:
See, my brain immediately goes into promoter mode. You have to idealize how you’re going to pull this event off – is it going to be funny entertainment? Is it going to be pure sport? The vision behind it is what’s going to drive the field and the match-ups. For me, I like a little bit of balance in my combat sports shows. I want some big characters and some entertaining moments mixed in with my quality contests. So, with that in mind, here’s the field I’m thinking:
- Kim Kardashian – how many people would pay to see her get whooped in a fight? And, imagine the ratings if she did win! This is just Marketing 101 here.
- Jason Momoa – the show needs sex appeal.
- Theo Von – Here’s my comedy sweet spot. Imagine the content we’d get out of this one.
- Liver King – Let’s add some controversy to the field with one of the most hated men on the internet right now.
- Mia Goth – But, she has to compete as Pearl.
- Will Smith – C’mon….he slapped Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars. We gotta capitalize on that pub.
So, we’re rolling with Kim K vs. Mia Goth as Pearl, Will Smith vs. Jason Momoa, and Liver King vs. Theo Von. That seems like a helluva card to me.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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