Now that winter time is here, and all of the leaves have finally fallen off of the tree, it allows me the opportunity to see the bare bones of nature’s paintbrush. I can also see the back of my neighbor’s house, which is kind of weird, but that doesn’t quite sound as poetic so I left that out of the opening sentence. Anyway, there are all kinds of wildlife in this neighborhood – it’s one of the things I love about it. Deer, birds, one time I was outside and a skunk ran by me in the driveway, there’s moles fuckin’ up my yard. It’s great. It’s also why I tell Bucky he can’t go outside. That fat cat would feed these creatures for a month if he got loose.
So, since the bulk of what I do here at SoBros Network is real, legitimate hard-hitting journalism, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get some real reporting done. After all, I won’t be able to see these birds nests once leaves start sprouting on the trees. Here is the full and exclusive report of what the trees in my backyard look like with a couple of birds nests in them:
Stoney Keeley live on the scene here from my own backyard, where as you can see, there are two birds nests in these trees that I had no idea even existed until the winter knocked all the leaves off the trees.
Now that the real man-on-the-street journalism is out of the way, let me put my analyst hat on and break these things down because that’s also what I do on this website. That one on the bottom that I circled…wow…now THAT is a sturdy specimen. What’s that thing housing? A bobcat? A pterodactyl? It’s built big, so you know there’s plenty of room to stretch out your legs after a hard day’s work. You don’t have to worry about laying too many eggs. There’s room for everybody. You’re not THAT high off the ground, so you don’t have to carry your food up higher. It’s built into the sturdiest part of the tree, so it’ll probably hold up in inclement weather. But, it’s still high enough off the ground to protect you from predators. Bravo, birds! A real master class in bird nesting.
That other nest is a massive piece of shit. It’s too small. It’s built way up in the bendy part of the tree up top. Every time the wind blows, you’re going to be blown around and might even fall out if you’re sleeping. Or worse, it could be blown away in the wind. You probably can’t fit but two eggs in that thing, and there’s definitely no room to relax. With all due respect, what the fuck was the bird that built that thing thinking?!
For SoBros Network, I’m Stoney Keeley.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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