I absolutely lost my mind yesterday scrolling through Power Poll’s list of the most powerful people in Nashville. Honestly, and maybe this says more about me than I would like for it to, but I never really slowed down long enough to contemplate who really has the power in our fair city. I just go with it, y’know? But, it’s obvious that at least 16K+ people have thought about this very question long enough to vote on it, and the results are right there at that hyperlink. Now, why was I losing my mind about this? Well, that’s simple. I think the voters got it all wrong. There’s only one name, of the roughly 1400 or so names that they shared, that I agreed should be on the list. So, I took it upon myself to list the names of the folks who really have the power in this town. It is scientific and foolproof.
Most Powerful Nashvillians (just my opinion though)
11. Steve Cavendish – I agree with Power Poll on this one. Steve Cavendish is building an empire.
10. The Vandy whistler – No one has control over the emotions of Nashvillians quite like the Vandy whistler.
9. The person that painted the angel wings mural – an innate ability to control people in droves to flock to a point in our city to take photos.
8. The Opryland VR guy – he has captivated the entire city by tapping into our yearning for the comfort of nostalgia.
7. Gary Ashton – Has brainwashed the city into thinking he owns the entirety of real estate.
6. Big Daddy from Daddy’s Dogs – offering the masses sustenance at great times of need, and producing some of the best local content on Instagram. And, also just plain making great fucking hot dogs.
5. Derrick Henry – Who doesn’t love Derrick Henry? Come on.
4. Sean Brock – If you quietly whisper ‘Chef Sean Brock’ three times in the mirror, a fine dining establishment will pop up in your neighborhood.
3. The Bang This Twins – Illuminati?
2. Bart Durham – Ingrained in the city’s subconscious for what feels like 100 years. I’m convinced he is Nashville’s great puppet master. Also, could be a muppet, or vampire, that has figured out the key to immortality.
1. Tourists – All of them. Every single one. They are all the most powerful people in Nashville. They impact every decision this city makes.
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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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