Drinking game season is rolling right along here on the SoBros Network, but there’s nothing quite like the Royal Rumble. This is where the road to WrestleMania officially unofficially kicks off! So, you can damn well believe that once the show starts, your boy “Big Natural” is going to have a drink in hand, posted up, and enjoying one of pro wrestling’s biggest holidays. Now….since it is drinking game season after all, I can’t do that without putting our own 2023 Royal Rumble drinking game out there.
I’m rather intrigued by this year’s Royal Rumble because we’re sitting here just a few days before the event and it still feels like there’s a lot being left in the dark. That’s not a play on the Pitch Black Match between Bray Wyatt and LA Knight. It’s genuine sentiment – I have no idea what’s going to happen. The Bloodline storyline with Roman Reigns and Sami Zayn continues to be the hottest, most dramatic, thing going in wrestling today. While we know Reigns and Kevin Owens can put on a good match together (they actually had bangers at the 2017 and 2021 Royal Rumbles), it figures to be high drama in the traditional sense of the pro wrestling term. It used to be that the main champs were fed challengers to look strong heading into WrestleMania season. While that might be the case with the Bianca Belair-Alexa Bliss match, it doesn’t feel like that’s the hard rule in the booking room anymore. Both should be fantastic title matches regardless.
Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to this Pitch Black nonsense. I don’t have a clue as to what to expect….I’m just along for the ride. LA Knight has become one of my favorite acts in the game, but it’s gettin’ towards “crap or get off the pot” time with Wyatt since his return. While I also have no idea what to expect from the Women’s Royal Rumble, it sure feels like we’re going to get the Cody Rhodes show in the Men’s Royal Rumble. I’m okay with that, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a curveball. I say that every year and then it ends up not being a curveball…yet I keep coming back for more year in and year out. Nonetheless, this should be a fun event – the Royal Rumble is always a staple of the wrestling calendar.
Bring you a bottle, pour your favorite poison, find a safe way home if you’re not drinking at home, and let’s get shwasted.
2023 ROYAL RUMBLE DRINKING GAME
TAKE A DRINK IF/WHEN…
- Someone who was in a match earlier in the card enters the Rumble.
- Someone ‘skins the cat.’
- Someone is shown acting mad after being eliminated.
- Anyone mentions the specific phrase ‘road to WrestleMania.’
- A surprise entrant enters the Royal Rumble.
- Kofi Kingston avoids elimination in a wild and crazy way.
- Cody Rhodes eliminates someone. Double drink every time someone references his comeback. Triple drink if they show his bruised chest.
- Two or more wrestlers team up to try and eliminate one. Double drink when it’s Omos.
- Entrant #1 is still in the match when entrant #11 enters! Same goes for #10 and #21, and if #20 makes it to the final four.
- Rey Mysterio’s record time in the 2006 Rumble is mentioned.
- Anyone acknowledges that The Greatest Royal Rumble and/or Braun Strowman actually happened.
- There’s only one superstar in the ring – think Stone Cold eliminating people as they came in back in the day.
TAKE A SHOT IF/WHEN…
- A title changes hands elsewhere on the card.
- There’s another double finish a la Bret Hart-Lex Luger or Cena-Batista.
- Anyone makes a pin attempt during the Rumble match. Pour another one out for the Macho Man Randy Savage.
- A surprise entrant actually wins the Rumble.
- Someone tears a quad trying to get into the ring.
As always, folks. Have fun, but stay safe and drink responsibly. If you drink, don’t drive. Do the watermelon crawl.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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