Curmudgeon Alert: There’s Going to Be a Ton of People in Nashville This Weekend

If you hate traffic and hate people, stay out of Nashville this weekend.

Share This Post

Okay, I’m going to go full-on old man yelling at cloud mode here for a minute, but I promise that it’s in service of a select audience here in the Nashville region. Let’s call it a full-on public service announcement, if you will. Why? Because I absolutely hate massive crowds. I hate waiting in line for shit. And, maybe most of all, I hate traffic. So, when my wife sends me this neat little infographic below from the fine folks at doorbell real estate, I can’t help but shudder and think happy thoughts of staying inside the comfort of my own home this weekend and not leaving the house. That’s why I want to pass this along in case you’re built like me, want to avoid this kind of madness, and aren’t already aware of what’s going on.

By the way, I have absolutely no idea where my wife found this infographic. It’s not on doorbell’s Instagram page. It’s not on their Facebook. Nowhere. Have I just gotten that old that there’s way more social media platforms out there than I am aware of?!?! Sheesh – tough scene for your boy. Nonetheless, I don’t know what kind of science Doorbell Real Estate is pulling from here, but an expected influx of around 464,000 people sounds exactly like the kind of mess I don’t want to get involved in.

Even if it’s not that many people that actually flock to downtown this weekend, there are still a TON of events going on. That’s usually going to lead to a massive crowd of individuals. Taylor Swift alone is going to get half the population of the state of Tennessee down here for the shows at Nissan Stadium. I bear no ill will towards T-Swizzle. I’m a fan. But, I want no part of that action. It’s Cinco De Mayo – which…hey we can have a separate conversation about cultural appropriation a different day…but that does mean that people will be out celebrating. Trevor Noah is doing shows at the Ryman?!?! I didn’t even know that. Nashville SC has a home game on deck. The Tennessee Craft Fair is going on at Centennial Park. I had to do a double take at first because I thought that said “Mid-South MAGA Racing” at first, and thought “boy we’re really leanin’ into it, huh Nashville?” But, no – it’s just regular old racing. Point is, my anxiety is already flaring up just reading about everything that’s going on this weekend as the weather starts to turn and get us a little closer to summer.

Good luck findin’ a pot to piss in this weekend in Nashville. Y’all have fun. I’ll be on my back deck crushing beers, smokin’ a cigar, and shakin’ my fist at the sky if y’all need me.

If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to The SoBros Power Hour on Apple Podcasts, follow us on Spotify, or wherever you take in your shows.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

Subscribe to the SoBros Network Patreon here – $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers!

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore