Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, anonymous text message:
Why do buttholes never get clean?
Answer:
I don’t know if this is a joke and there’s a punchline coming, or if this is a serious cry for help. Buttholes can be pesky sometimes – people don’t make jokes and relate about those days when you wipe and wipe and wipe and it just seems so futile for nothing. My advice would be to just simply take a shower after every single dump you ever take.
Question:
How do you feel about ASMR? If you don't have an opinion on it, listen to 10 minutes of some and give your thoughts
— Canadian Titan – Will Levis Stan Account (@Canadian_Titan) June 22, 2023
Answer:
I am a huge ASMR fan, and I listen for about 30 minutes to an hour every night. I’ve been staying pretty high-strung lately and it seems to help me calm down just a bit. I love the exam shit, the whispering shit…none of the food noises…that’s disgusting. I don’t always believe in the effects of it…I get why some people aren’t into it, and no, it doesn’t always work for me, but sometimes it does and that’s a beautiful thing.
Question, via McCash on Instagram:
If you had to die with 5 rich dumbasses, what dumbasses would you pick?
Answer:
Man, that’s a good one because there’s a couple of different ways you can approach it. One, who would you enjoy spending time with in your final moments? Two, who has done the most damage to our society and needs to be taken down with me? That’s kind of dark and I don’t like what it says about me, but there’s a job to do. Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Andrew Tate, Donald Trump, and Jeff Bezos. Let’s ride.
Question, from Zach via text message:
I see people ranking Batmen and people really love Christian Bale’s Batman, but I think he has one of the worst portrayals of Batman, which poses this question: are people confusing a good Batman portrayal with being in a good movie? The Dark Knight is good because of Heath Ledger and Christopher Nolan, not necessarily Bale. And, that movie does the heavy lifting for that trilogy.
To me, of the four they listed, I’d go:
Keaton
Affleck
Pattinson (his Batman is very good, but Bruce is weak)
Then, Bale.
Conroy is first if the tweet had included all Batmen.
Answer:
It’s an interesting question – I like Bale’s portrayal of Batman…feels like he sort of grounds the story a bit for me. It’s just the right combination of tough and moody. I like Pattinson’s Batman, but we know it’s a younger Batman, so he plays it a little more on the emo side. Keaton’s a little over the top to me. And, I find Batfleck to be super underrated…it may be the most complete performance of the four.
But, to your question, it does feel like every Batman portrayal does reflect the overall vibe of the movies. I could see how if you like the movie enough, you automatically associate its Batman with the best of the bunch. I also alternate who my favorite Batman is like crazy when I stop to think about this question. Each guy puts a different little signature on the character. There’s a sort of spectrum between Batman and Bruce Wayne, and each guy rides it in his own way. But, when we start debating the pure performance of each guy, the conversation does tend to drift towards more aspects of the films overall. Fair question.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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