The other day, my good friend and the SoBros Network’s ‘Utility Man’ Steven McCash asked Brandon Vick and me when a good date would be to get together to record the next few episode of ‘Drinking With…‘ I looked at my calendar and quickly realized that I wouldn’t have a free Saturday until July. “Holy shit,” I thought. Is life really that booked up for me? Out of curiosity, I looked back and was startled to realize I’d only had one free Saturday altogether since the beginning of March. I only bring this up to illustrate how badly I was in need of just a few days to recharge, to keep my head up, and to keep going through this busy life I lead. My wife and I recently celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary, and considering we both had some time off to spare, we decided to take a couple of days and head to the beach.
The problem? Well…with Memorial Day weekend looming, we knew the touristy spots would be a madhouse. So, we looked into somewhere a little quieter, and ultimately, we landed on Apalachicola, on the western side of Florida’s “Forgotten Coast” that runs from Cedar Key up to Mexico Beach. It looked like a nice little town that wasn’t going to be overrun with Spring breakers (gah, have I gotten that old now?). It was only about a 15-minute drive to St. George Island, the closest beach front. And, of course, Tim McGraw sang about it in “Southern Voice,” “smooth as the hickory wind that blows from Memphis down to Apalachicola.” We were sold.
So, on Friday morning, the Friday before Memorial Day, we woke up at 4AM and hopped in the car to make the roughly nine hour drive down. Actually, it turned into about a 10-hour drive because there’s a Buc-ee’s in Athens, Alabama that we absolutely have to stop at every time we pass it.
Nonetheless, after miles and miles of lush forest, we hit the ocean in a small town named Port St. Joe. And, I mean that. SR 71 runs right up to the ocean. You turn right to head to Mexico Beach. You turn left to head to Apalachicola. Or, you just drive straight into the ocean. Those are your options. We encountered a deluge upon arrival, but if you’ve ever spent time in Florida, you know those flash showers are nothing to worry about in terms of ruining your day. It was about 20 more minutes before we hit Apalachicola and by the time we got there, the sun was shining once again.
We arrived at our inn, the beautiful Majestic Jewel, around 4PM, freshened up a bit, and then hit the town. I loved the “old South” vibes of the Majestic Jewel, but what I loved even more was just how quiet and relaxing it was. It’s only a couple of blocks away from “downtown,” making it a walkable experience. But, the wife wasn’t up for a stroll, so we drove on in, wanting to do a lap around the town to scout potential dinner and drink locations. What happened? Well, we accidentally ended up on a bridge heading towards St. George Island. It was fine – we wanted to scope the area out anyway, and with nowhere to turn around on a bridge heading out over the bay, we just rode with it.
St. George Island is beautiful – just a few little beach shops, some restaurants, and really only one bar on the beach. It’s a stark contrast from what you get with Panama City Beach and the like, but again, that’s just what we wanted. There’s tons of public access spots where you can park and hit the beach undisturbed. We knew we were going to be out there Saturday morning, so we made our way back to Apalachicola for some dinner. We couldn’t make our minds up, so we landed on appetizers at Lou’s – we went with the fried green tomatoes and some chips and queso, but looking back, we definitely should’ve gone with the charcuterie. Give us a break – we’d been traveling all day. Our minds weren’t at their most alert, and we were preoccupied with the view of town and the bay from the second story balcony at Lou’s.
We finally put a plan together as we decided that we’d wander up the street to go watch a bit of the sunset at the park/boardwalk by the river. We’d mosey around town to scout potential shopping opportunities for Saturday (everything in town closes early, so by 6PM, we’d already missed our window for Friday). We’d grab a round of beers or two at Oyster City Brewing. Then, we’d polish off the night with a proper dinner at The Owl Cafe tap room. After that, we would go back to the Majestic Jewel to get a good night’s sleep.
I was absolutely stoked to see Oyster City Brewing in Apalachicola, and truth be told, it’s the only spot I had on my to-do list going into town. My wife wants to look in every nook and cranny of any place we ever visit, but me, just find me a brewery and I’m set. I had had some Oyster City stuff in Mobile, Alabama when I went down to cover the Senior Bowl, and it is some good beer – I drank Apalach IPA all weekend. The Owl Cafe’s tap room is a little more casual than the restaurant itself, but doesn’t sacrifice the quality on the menu. We don’t get too much good, fresh seafood here in Nashville, so we indulged in crab cakes and shrimp, with cocktails to boot (thanks again for our wonderful anniversary meal, mama).
By then it was 10PM, and Apalachicola looked like a ghost town. We stepped outside to empty streets, the sounds of the river, and a bright moon above us. There was a time in my life when I would’ve asked, “what are we doing here?” But, at 36 years old and those party days long behind me, my only thought was, “hot damn I could retire here.” I had found my kind of paradise.
We were up early on Saturday and after some coffee and croissants at the Apalachicola Chocolate and Coffee Company, we were heading for St. George Island. After a stop at a beach shop to procure an umbrella and some sunscreen, we were over and set up on the beach by 9:30AM. For about an hour, we were one of just three families within a 50-foot radius of one another. Again…paradise. No crowds. No craziness. Just peace and relaxation, with the sounds of the waves crashing providing a natural sort of ASMR you only get from a good YouTube video. By noon, it was a little more crowded, but we never felt cramped. I’m not a big beach person, but my wife loves it. It’s too much sun. There’s too much sand. And, most of what’s in the ocean is trying to kill me. So, hey – she had a great and relaxing time…while I just hid from the sun under the umbrella the entire time.
After some quality beach time, we wanted to try one of the local spots, so we ventured back across the island to Paddy’s Raw Bar. “A sunny place for shady people,” aka my kind of spot. I had another…you guessed it…Apalach IPA from Oyster City Brewing, to go along with my fish tacos. Aura had the shrimp tacos with a Shock Top. I won the beer choice. She clearly won the food choice. Those shrimp tacos were to die for.
We settled up at Paddy’s and then went back to our room to clean up. Then, it was time to do that shopping we had planned from Friday night. Apalachicola is chock full of cute little boutique shops selling everything from antiques and jewelry to art and books. My personal favorite was Downtown Books and Purl, where I spent a good chunk of time perusing the selection before ultimately landing on a local interest book about the history of Florida’s Forgotten Coast. Maybe I’m a nerd, but the local spot of any book shop is the place to be. My wife was floored by Marilyn’s work at Marilyn Brogan Jewelry. And, of course, they say you can’t go to Apalachicola without a stop at The Tin Shed.
By the time we were done with that town, we had probably walked it over 10 times. We were thirsty, and we wanted a little more beach time. So, it was back to St. George Island, where we propped up at the bar at The Blue Parrot. They had those frozen mixed drinks turning, and hey…when in Rome. I think I tried everything from the menu – rum runner, pina colada, sandblaster, you name it. I was taking in my tropical drinks as my wife and I were taking in the views. Lots of waves, and lots of brave fashion choices. No, I’m not judging. I salute all my portly kings out there taking those shirts off and letting those guts hang. I’m right there with you, brothers.
For dinner, it was back to Apalachicola, and a spot my wife was stoked to try: Up the Creek Raw Bar. We were seated up on the top floor, with a view that overlooked the river and the bay. It was a beautiful spot as the sun had begun to set, shrouding the area in bright pinks, purples, and oranges. We watched the gulls and the pelicans try to secure their own dinners, bouncing off the water and flying by us. We enjoyed hush puppies, fried calamari, coconut shrimp, and crab cakes. Yeah, if you can’t tell by now, shrimp and crab cakes are our favorite seafood. It was delicious and gut-stuffing, the kind of meal that you eat and understand why old men have to sit for awhile with a cigar and a glass of scotch after eating. That was me last Saturday night.
There was one spot left to try, and FYI, we got a hold of Southern Living’s list of things to do in Apalachicola, and I believe we did just about everything on it! But, that was to take in the historic Gibson Inn, specifically, stroll into The Parlor Bar and drink a bee’s knees. That was our nightcap. I’m a big time gin guy if you didn’t already know, and the cocktail hit just right. We stepped outside around 10PM, once again to quiet streets, though a little more lively than the night before. It was Saturday night, after all. We took in the stars beautifully shining overhead, notice the glow of the moon, and couldn’t help but be thankful for the quaint, quiet little gem of a town that we’d discovered.
Just like that it was over – the next day, we decided to lengthen our trip home. Instead of making way straight for Nashville, we decided to drive up through Mexico Beach, Panama City Beach, and then turn and head north. It was enjoyable, but seeing the frenzy in PCB and just how ginormous it has gotten made me even more thankful that we made the decision we did.
Apalachicola is the perfect spot for peace and quiet with proximity to a beach. As far as recommendations go, it’s just a matter of what you want. If you want the brimming night life that’s going to go to midnight and end with drunken sex with a stranger and puking in the streets, Apalachicola probably isn’t for you. But, if you’re like me, and you want somewhere that you can gather your thoughts for a while, genuinely rest, and reflect upon nature’s splendor, there’s not a more perfect town for that than Apalachicola. I know it’s not Key West, but it definitely struck me as the type of place Hemingway would’ve written about anyway. For those of you reading it in our hometown Nashville, it’s like if someone put Smithville, Watertown, or Bell Buckle within 15 minutes of the ocean. It was so relaxing. It was just the right dose of exactly what I needed for a couple of days, and my wife and I can’t wait to visit there again.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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