It’s the real “age old question” in my book – if you could live forever, but you had to become a vampire, would you do it? I know I post a lot of ridiculous stuff here, but that’s actually seriously a really interesting moral question. I think I’d like to become immortal, but it’s the whole “drinking blood” thing that gets me. Though I’m sure it’s like being a cat…you know…cat food tastes really good when you’re a cat. So, who knows? Maybe blood tastes really good if you’re a vampire and it’s a total non-issue. I don’t know, but if any vampires are reading this, I would be interested in hearing your pitch on becoming a vampire.
Anyway, it looks like some big vampire news has come out of a survey conducted to measure which cities in the United States are the most vampire-friendly. How awesome and progressive! It is high time we considered the comfort of vampires.
Courtesy of CBS News Pittsburgh:
Lawn Care said it compared the 500 biggest cities in the United States on five categories: food and drink, lair safety, deterrents, community, and entertainment. The report looked for blood centers, vampire-friendly dwellings like homes with basements, and warm bodies.
So, if we’re going to start just broadcasting where the safest place to be a vampire is in this country, I think it makes the decision of whether or not to become one even easier. Now, you know where you can live out your days ripping peoples throats out most peacefully. Me myself, I’m not much of a big city guy. I don’t think I could do New York or Chicago. There are too many ghosts in Savannah – I’d be constantly looking over my shoulder. I’ve heard that New Orleans stinks. But, Pittsburgh…..Pittsburgh? We may be onto something. One thing is for sure…if I ever did become a vampire, I’d have to leave Nashville. Too many lights down on Broadway.
Damn it. I started writing this before I read the full story, and as it turns out now that I’ve finished it, this was just a PR stunt to encourage blood donation during this shortage that’s going on. I feel like such an IDIOT. I’ve been bamboozled again. Here I was thinking that real vampires had introduced themselves to the world via CBS News and this poll. I’m such a moron. I can’t believe I fall for everything I read on the internet. This is how misinformation gets spread and now I’m apart of the very problem I swore to stand against. I am in tears.
Oh well, let’s take this opportunity to remind everyone reading this to go give blood.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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