Drinking game season is rolling right along here on the SoBros Network, but there’s nothing quite like the Royal Rumble. This is where the road to WrestleMania officially unofficially kicks off! So, you can damn well believe that once the show starts, your boy “Big Natural” is going to have a drink in hand, posted up, and enjoying one of pro wrestling’s biggest holidays. Now….since it is drinking game season after all, I can’t do that without putting our own 2024 Royal Rumble drinking game out there.
The WWE feels like pure insanity right now. The Rock was added to the board. Some truly heinous shit has come to light about Vince McMahon. And, all the while, we’ve got one of the biggest shows on the calendar to get to. It’s chaos. Cody Rhodes. CM Punk. AJ Styles. What freakin’ year is it? Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul? What are we doing here? Raw is moving to Netflix? Huh? I can’t keep up. Let’s just get to drinking.
Bring you a bottle, pour your favorite poison, find a safe way home if you’re not drinking at home, and let’s get shwasted.
2023 ROYAL RUMBLE DRINKING GAME
TAKE A DRINK IF/WHEN…
- Someone who was in a match earlier in the card enters the Rumble.
- Someone ‘skins the cat.’
- Someone is shown acting mad after being eliminated.
- Anyone mentions the specific phrase ‘road to WrestleMania.’
- A surprise entrant enters the Royal Rumble.
- Anyone avoids elimination in a wild and crazy way. This has been dubbed “the Kofi rule.”
- Cody Rhodes or CM Punk eliminates someone. Double drink if they’re the last two standing. Triple drink if they actually say “finish the story.”
- Bianca Belair or Becky Lynch eliminates someone.
- There’s some friction between Damage CTRL teased.
- Two or more wrestlers team up to try and eliminate one.
- Entrant #1 is still in the match when entrant #11 enters! Same goes for #10 and #21, and if #20 makes it to the final four.
- Rey Mysterio’s record time in the 2006 Rumble is mentioned.
- There’s only one superstar in the ring – think Stone Cold eliminating people as they came in back in the day.
TAKE A SHOT IF/WHEN…
- A title changes hands elsewhere on the card.
- There’s another double finish a la Bret Hart-Lex Luger or Cena-Batista.
- Anyone makes a pin attempt during the Rumble match. Pour another one out for the Macho Man Randy Savage.
- A surprise entrant actually wins the Rumble.
- Someone tears a quad trying to get into the ring.
As always, folks. Have fun, but stay safe and drink responsibly. If you drink, don’t drive. Do the watermelon crawl.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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