The Tennessee Senate Is Taking Aim at Chemtrails

A bill approved by the Tennessee Senate is taking aim at 'chemtrails' and I don't know what to do with this information.

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I want to start this post by warning some of you that are here for the first time that I am going to blatantly and unabashedly reveal how stupid my brain is. Any time I dip my toes into something like this, people are shocked and appalled to learn that I am actually just a big dumb idiot who is unafraid to share the inner workings of his brain fumbling my way through life. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about how the Tennessee Senate approved a bill (24-6!) that would take aim at chemtrails. Yes….chemtrails.

So, for those of you who might have normal lives and don’t spend countless hours each year combing through conspiracy theories to find inspiration for your poetry or fiction (or just because you think they’re fun), “chemtrails” refer to those little white streaks in the sky that look kind of like clouds. They’re thought to be like the exhaust from a plane, but some people believe there is a much more nefarious purpose to their existence. Depending on the flavor of conspiracy theorist, the idea is that the government is controlling the weather by these streaks of chemicals in the sky. I’ve also seen the notion out there that these chemtrails cause cancer and it’s a manner of population control….which is excellent fodder for your next short story.

I’m conflicted about this. On one hand, yes, I support the idea that the government should not be attempting to manipulate the weather. But, y’know, if you asked me if I support the idea that the government should not be poisoning our water supply, I’d say yes too! That feels like a reasonable thing to say, right? But, it’s also akin to believing the government should not be kicking puppies and putting children in cages. Who wouldn’t agree with that? On the other hand, this is so fucking crazy that this is what we’re voting on in the Senate. I mean, do we really have to go after this? Do we have to say it out loud? What credible evidence do we actually have that the government is out there spewing chemicals into the sky trying to make it rain (literally not figuratively)? I don’t know. It seems like we’re taking crazy pills!

To quote Schelzig’s thread, “Sen. Rusty Crowe, R-Johnson City, called this the No. 1 issue for some of his constituents.” I have to know. I have to know for whom this particular issue is the number one problem. I mean, Oak Ridge is out there in East Tennessee…maybe there’s some Stranger Things shit going on that we don’t know about. Maybe Rusty Crowe is ahead of something and not just vibing with the conspiracy theorists. Maybe something’s going on at Oak Ridge that is impacting the fine people of Johnson City and this whole thing is going to be blown open by this bill. Also, as an aside, I love the language of it…how it states, in Schelzig’s words, “The bill would would ban the “intentional injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of chemicals … with the express purpose of affecting temperature, weather, or the intensity of the sunlight” in Tennessee.” So, if you’re spraying chemicals into the sky but you DON’T expressly state that you’re trying to affect the weather, are you gucci?

There’s more science fiction in here than reality in my book, and the fact that we’re talking about this stuff in the Senate doesn’t exactly help the perception of us Tennesseans. Maybe it doesn’t help that this dropped the same week it was reported that Tennessee could….COULD…ban marriage between first cousins…but I don’t know. I’m beginning to feel like we’re The Beverly Hillbillies who have spent too much time watching Alex Jones.

Anyway, this is me reading this bill:

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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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