Chesapeake Bay Candle Reviews: Cucumber Matcha

Let's give Cucumber Matcha a sniff on this episode of Yankee Candle (read: Chesapeake Bay Candle) Reviews!

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Hello, and welcome in to the latest edition of Yankee Candle Reviews here on SoBros Network. I will be your host – the Fragrance Aficionado of SoBros Network, also the EIC, Stoney Keeley. My passion for Yankee Candle began in 2006, when I strolled into the location in Providence Marketplace in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. I picked up a jar of Autumn Woods, and found it captured the essence of the season perfectly. I’ve been hooked in this…well, you could even call it ‘romantic…’ relationship with Yankee Candle ever since. Today, we’re talking about Chesapeake Bay’s ‘Be Reflective,’ a cucumber matcha fragrance.

As far as historical accuracy goes, I’m afraid I can’t really comment on how close this candle is to actually smelling like matcha. I’ve had matcha a few times, and it’s fine, I guess. But, I don’t recall smelling it. I don’t even know what it really is if I’m being completely honest with you guys. I don’t know…in a way, I feel like that disqualifies me from being able to review this candle. It’s like evaluating a draft prospect without watching any game film. I do my best here, but I won’t lie…my imposter syndrome is hitting big time in this review.

Nonetheless, not knowing something about a topic has never stopped me before, and it’s not going to stop me now. This is a great spa candle. I light this bitch up and immediately feel the need to shed my clothes, drape a warm towel across my body, and tell whatever poor massage therapist that drew my hairy ass to “do their best.” As long as it’s not like the first massage I ever had where that lady put her hand up my crack, we’re good. That’s the essence of this candle – it’s like a trip to the spa within the comfort of your own home.

Recommended Burning: Your tight ass has been bothering you for months. You need a good massage…someone to really get in there and work that ass loose. You light ‘Be Reflective’ and it immediately relaxes every muscle in your body so that the lady massaging you can put her hand in your crack.

Check out the Yankee Candle archives here on SoBros Network for my extensive backlog of Yankee Candle reviews! Also, be sure to check out my comprehensive list of the top 100 Yankee Candle fragrances of all time. I worked on that thing for forever, so any read is appreciated, thank you. That is all.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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