This is so sick. About a month after initially writing about the opening of ‘The Cantinas,’ Taco Bell’s early retirement community, we have some key updates on it via press release. The Cantinas have officially opened their doors down in San Diego, California. Unfortunately, for those of you who may not know, San Diego is far away from those of us here suffering from FOMO in Nashville, Tennessee. That’s not exactly a day’s drive, but if you ask me, The Cantinas sounds like the type of place that you don’t have to worry about the trip home from. I don’t think I’d ever want to leave. First of all, they got the pickleball going now:
Pickleball, Proposals and Poolside Relaxation: Hundreds of Taco Bell fans from over 20 states gathered in San Diego for a weekend of senior-inspired leisure at The Cantinas, complete with pickleball tournaments, sound baths and an epic surprise proposal.
I mean, there’s no better way to get the vibes going than with a good pickleball tournament. The people love pickleball these days. It’s a great way to enjoy some leisure time in the sun while also working on your physical fitness and maybe burning off that burrito supreme you just housed. Second of all, yeah, if you didn’t catch that part in the quote above, there was a surprise wedding proposal on opening weekend:
One highlight had everyone buzzing—a surprise proposal that brought a whole new level of excitement to the weekend! After a perfect day relaxing in retiree paradise, James popped the big question, asking Caroline to be his forever Taco Bell(e) on the terrace Sunday night and she said yes! The happy couple traveled from the Los Angeles area to enjoy a leisurely weekend bonding over all things Taco Bell. “I always knew I wanted to make my proposal to her a special moment in our lives, so honestly, I made the final decision on the day of. It felt perfect, Taco Bell Cantinas was such a lovely snapshot of the peaceful, quiet life I want to live with her when we grow old,” said James.
Good for them. This entire thing looks magical. I feel like I’m being called to The Cantinas. What a revolutionary idea. I love the concept of early retirement. I love the Taco Bell color palette. It would be so cool to live in a community that looked like one. I love Taco Bell so much. Are The Cantinas paradise on Earth? It sure sounds like it to me.
Original SoBros Network blog post from 7/24/24:
Live Mas, they say. Taco Bell is stepping up to the plate to really put that moniker into use. Recent news broke that they would be hosting a weekend event designed to mimic what it feels like to be retired. Have you ever longed for the day when you could blow off your job and sip Baja Blast on a beach somewhere? This may be your chance to see that through!
“The Cantinas” is a two-day event inspired by senior living for people ages 21 or older. The weekend getaway will offer a taste of laid-back living and host low-impact activities so attendees of different ages can experience a retirement lifestyle.
So, I don’t know about you guys, but I think this sounds pretty nice. Laid-back living…low-impact activities….experiencing a retirement lifestyle…those all sound like things I would most definitely be interested in. You’re telling me I can head to a village for a couple of days, eat Taco Bell, and pretend to be retired? That’s my speed! Where do I sign up?
Then, you read more about the story and this whole thing is being set up because of the grim reality of our future. American citizens don’t have enough money saved up to safely retire. Many don’t have anything saved up for retirement. Most people these days are beginning to acknowledge that they probably won’t retire at 65. Me? I’m convinced I’ll likely work until the day I die. So, Taco Bell is stepping up and organizing this whole shindig as a way to give younger people a taste of what retirement is like because they may never get to experience it for themselves. Damn, Taco Bell. That’s kind of dark. It’s a cold world. There’s something that feels oddly dystopian about all of this. Now, we all just have to decide if we’re going to accept that and lean into the bit, or if it’s too grim a future to attend. At least there will be crunchwrap supremes.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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