A couple weeks ago, Aura and I hopped in the car and drove out to Cookeville to catch a fabulous afternoon of basketball inside the confines of the Hooper Eblen Center on the lovely campus of Tennessee Tech University. I had spent the morning recording episodes of ‘Drinking With…’ and didn’t have time to squeeze any breakfast in. By the time 12:30PM came around, it was too late for a sit-down lunch anywhere. We had to hop in the car and make the hour-long drive to Cookevegas or else we’d risk missing the beginning of the game. I told Aura it was fine – I am personally a concessions demon…with a hot dollar in my pocket, I can go crazy. So, I wasn’t worried. When we made it inside and scoped out our seats, I told her I was going to go get some food. I love concession stand hot dogs – few things in life beat them. But, they’re admittedly usually small. With that in mind, I stepped up to the register and ordered two for $5 a pop. When the cashier handed them to me, I felt my hand buckle under the weight of this thing and thought, “what have I got myself into here?” I found out when I opened the aluminum foil and caught a load of this Goliath-esque hog:
A thick dog that hangs over the bun on both ends?!?! In this economy?!?! I mean, just look at this thing! This massive hunk of meat cost me $5! What a value! How can this possibly be profitable for the Tennessee Tech concession stand!?!?!
As I was marveling at this dog, a lady approached the condiment table. She had ordered the hot dog as well, and upon opening hers up, she said to me, “oh my word – look at how big this thing is!” I responded in kind, “I ordered two of these things thinking they were small!” This girthy tube of meat was like they put two hot dogs in the body of one. The bun could barely contain it. When I got to my seat, I got to work on it – meaty with the relish flowing from end to end. If they serve hot dogs in heaven, this has to be the one.
Real talk for a moment – I haven’t spent much real time in Cookeville in close to 20 years outside of stopping by and visiting a friend, having a quick meal on the way home, or stopping to fill up. But, that afternoon made my wife and I say we needed to come back and spend a day exploring. It’s evolved so much since the days I was crashing on friends’ couches and going to frat parties. We had dinner at a fine establishment called Fire & Vine. We got some red velvet hot chocolate at Cream City (easy tiger). And, we dipped into The French Cookie for some late night macarons to carry home. It was a delightful experience that made me think Cookeville is underrated in the ‘small town Tennessee’ conversation. I’ll have to go out there and do some real journalism some time this summer and write up a full report.
Also, as a side note: any time you question whether or not I am qualified to be critiquing restaurants in Nashville, please remember this post and how I sucked this bad boy down enjoyably.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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