The 250th birthday of America is coming up in just a week or two (I don’t know when I’m going to release this post). Everywhere you turn, some brand is celebrating with special styles and/or flavors. There’s a joke in there somewhere about how “of course, the brands are capitalizing on this to make more money,” but I’m not here to flesh out and make such jokes today. No, I’m actually here to celebrate the newfound excess that this occasion has inspired.
You see, I was strolling the aisles at my local Walmart the other day as any good patriot does when I came across an end cap stocked heftily with celebratory Pringles. That’s right – a phrase you just read correctly is “celebratory Pringles.” Red cans, white cans, and blue cans…adorned with stars and the words ‘LIMITED EDITION’ slapped across the top. My interest had been piqued, so I examined the flavors. The blue can had an image of the most delectable looking cheeseburger you could ever imagine. If I had to guess, it was likely produced at Applebees for only such a steady artist could create such magnificent work. Behind it, a Miller Lite tall boy. I had never seen a product so inherently American. The flavor? “Beer cheese burger.” I knew in that moment that I had to buy it. I had to try it. And, I had to write about the experience.
If memory serves correctly, Miller Lite has collaborated with Pringles once before. Those chips were fantastic, and I’m here to say that these chips are fantastic as well. They feature the signature crunch of a Pringle. Whatever “potatoes” they use to make these, they have mastered the starchy vegetable to perfection. On these, you do get the rich taste of beef with a little tang of cheese and maybe some mustard in there too I really don’t know what the fuck they’ve all done to these chips. Anyway, they are highly snackable and present a unique combination of flavors.
Do your civic duty. Show your patriotism. Express your love of this country in the most American way possible – buy the America 250 Pringles and shove the whole tube down your gullet.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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