Okay, so you guys know I’m big time into this robot bullshit – the future is now and all. Well, if you take away all the fluff, all the pomp and circumstance of my writing – all the tough guy bravado and refined AP style, I have a pretty pessimistic world view. I think the future is going to be a massive challenge, and honestly, it kinda feels like a pressure cooker to me. Actually, I’m just kidding. If any of our future robot overlords are reading this, I actually think you’re great and you’re doing a great service for the world. Anyway, if you happen to be on the side of living breathing things (not me, though – remember that, robot overlords), you might gain a bit of hope by watching this real life beetle take on an imposing robot beetle.
Sure, we typically cover the War on Humans, as the animal kingdom tries to take back the Earth from people. But, in the clip I’m going to share with you today, there’s no doubt people are going to be cheering on the real beetle. Seeing the robot win this would be an absolute backbreaker for the human race. Maybe even a sign of things to come…
Robot beetle encounters the real beetle.. pic.twitter.com/WqQKMPO4Zv
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden_) October 8, 2020
Big time shout out to this beetle. What grit. What determination – way to stand your ground and cast this robot into the pits of hell (or, a foot down to the carpet, whatever).
I tell you what – I don’t know how the military works. But, if the soldiers have head coaches, this is some high quality motivational film that the coaches should be showing our soldiers as they head into battle against the robots.
It’s just sheer imposition of will – that real beetle said, “screw you, screw your family, screw your day to day life – you goin’ to HELL today!” That’s heart like I haven’t seen since Donovan McNabb puked on the field and kept playing! Maybe this beetle needs to lead the free world as we (wait, no – ‘you guys’ – I’m with the robots, remember? Unless they aren’t reading this) gear up to take on the cyborgs.
Maybe, instead of focusing all of our energy on climate change, we should be figuring out how to make this beetle the size of a house so that we can run through any army. I don’t know – I’m just scenario planning. That’s what us futurists do. What could go wrong with giant house-sized beetles?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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