What people don’t seem to realize about king shit is that it can come in a seemingly infinite number of ways. The best I can sum it up is knowing exactly who you are and and living true to that (as long as ‘who you are’ isn’t a giant piece of shit). It doesn’t mean you have to wear a crown. It doesn’t mean that you have rushed for 2,000 yards in the NFL. It just means that you run your shit. I honestly could not think of a better example of just how varying ‘king shit’ can be than when I saw this king here juggling and biting apples at the same damn time.
Did you know biting apples while juggling them was a talent??? Well it got Springfield resident Brian Pankey on @AGT which premieres tonight on @wandtvnews!!
— Meghan Whitlock (@mwhitlocktv) June 1, 2021
Tune in to see if this talent takes him to Vegas pic.twitter.com/SYagBIL9GW
You know back when we were all kids and people would ask us which three things we’d like to have with us on a deserted island as a way of making conversation? Well, one of my answers would be this video. Inject it directly into my veins. I think I could watch it, on loop, for the rest of my life.
Would ya check out the chompers on this dude, though? I mean, yeah – the hand-eye coordination in this clip is unreal. Put this guy in the boxing ring with Floyd Mayweather next and see what happens. It’s that good. But, I am absolutely fixated on this guy’s teeth – imagine how powerful and sharp they would have to be in order to take a chunk out of an apple as it flies through the air. Just amazing stuff. Maybe he’s a vampire.
And, before you laugh at this man, pay attention – this bit got our king here on America’s Got Talent. So, don’t ever say juggling and biting apples at the same time is a useless life skill. Finally, I would like to add that I have never been able to juggle and that makes me irrationally mad for some reason.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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