Listen, y’all – I’m married now. I ain’t had to worry about this type of thing for a LONG time. My wife knew exactly what she was getting into when she married me. No one needs to have mercy on her. But, I did see this clip on the Twitter machine earlier this week, and it did remind me of fond memories of completely nuking my Toyota Rav4 on the way home from her house when we first started dating.
Fellas, y’all know how much a relief it is to let one of these out after your girl leaves pic.twitter.com/xRx0h1pCdR
— J.P. Hovey (@jhovey34) July 25, 2022
Y’know, if you hold those things in for too long, it ain’t good for ya. Just a word of caution for you there. Wasn’t there some international music star that just went to the hospital because she held in her farts all night and it gave her some debilitating stomach pain? I’m not doctor, but from the way it used to feel back in the early days of my relationship (I only had to worry about this with one woman because I’ve only ever been on a date with one woman – not a single other woman ever in my life), I’m pretty sure it can cause your stomach to splode if you don’t let ’em out. That’s why I tell my wife, you either have to put up with this or you’re going to be the one taking me to the hospital with my intestines hanging out of my body because my toots done sploded my stomach open.
But, yeah…anyway…like I was saying – sorry we got a little too graphic there – there’s nothing quite like that level of relief. I don’t have an immediate power ranking of the greatest feelings in human existence right now, but if I did, I would imagine that emptying those date night toots during the early stages of courting someone would be in the G.O.A.T. conversation. It’s like an ocean breeze or an airport beer. The rest of the world melts away for a moment and you can just sit and savor that relief. I’m not sure that ‘savor’ was the best choice of words there, but you get what I’m trying to convey here.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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