Sometimes, Mondays suck. But, every now and then, just as you’re leaving the office, something goes viral that just puts you in the mood to get blackout. This is that something:
YO WTF IS THIS SHIT pic.twitter.com/pd9Knflevs
— ｈｏｔ ｇａｍｅｒ ｓｅｘ (@HotGamerSex) December 11, 2016
Hoooooooly everloving shit!
There’s so much to take in, but first and foremost, I have to acknowledge the fact that I am on my fucking feet right now! I’m ready to don my Pikachu garb and wreck shit. These are very clearly my people. People that understand that when your parade consists of regular everyday SUVs toting regular everyday trailers, you absolutely have to GO OFF to make sure every person in attendance goes home happy.
Let’s break this down.
First, we have Dora setting the tone. Like a fucking jackrabbit, just hammering down. Chucking those feet like she’s Buddy the Elf throwing snowballs.
Goofy is kind of lumbering around like he just popped an Ambien and is about a quarter of a mile from passing out in a ditch. But, you know – there’s a lot of excitement going on, and I can imagine he was feeling the pressure pretty heavily.
Then, you’ve got that panda (can’t remember his damn name; too lazy to look it up) right dead center in the middle of a Minion sandwich. That’s legit about to be a mascot threesome. I’ve been in clubs. I know what a developing threesome looks like.
But that’s not stopping our panda from hitting the ground and putting on a show. $10 says that panda is swimming in sex right now. Unadulterated machismo like we haven’t seen since Razor Ramon retired.
“GO AHEAD PANDA!” Just pure elation coming out of our narrator. It’s beautiful – this is what sheer human joy sounds like.
How about Minnie!?! Just when I think my heart can’t take anymore, Minnie just drops it right there in the street. And, I see you, Spongebob – doing work, bringing up the rear. It’s obvious whoever is filming this is a huge fan of Spongebob, given the “LOOK AT YOU, SPONGEBOB!”
At one point, I can’t tell for sure, but it looks like Elmo breaks out the Ric Flair strut. Genius. Can’t really sling feet like the rest of these cartoons, so you’ve got to pull the ol’ Nature Boy.
This is the very definition of excitement, and I wish I was right in the middle of it. I just can’t wait until the sequel to this video comes out and it’s set in a strip club.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network, Tennessee Titans Featured Analyst for Pro Football Spot, Contributor to FanSided’s Bama Hammer, and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @PFSpot, @WrestlingNewsCo, @Bama_Hammer
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