It may be 2018, but outlaws still exist in this world. Sure, they probably aren’t sitting around in a saloon with six-shooters and cowboy hats, playin’ poker, and spittin’ on the floor. Though, I don’t know…I’ve been to places on the outskirts of town that would beg to differ. Anyway, point is…the days of the old outlaws riding into town to shoot the sheriff are long gone. Nowadays, outlaws look like this guy…Nashville’s “Gentleman Bandit.”
Courtesy of our friends over at WKRN:
Police believe they know who’s been breaking into cars in Belle Meade.
They are looking for Maurice Johns, 32. Belle Meade detectives say he’s from Louisiana and has a criminal history.
They’re calling him the Gentleman Bandit because he is dressed well.
Makes perfect sense. Everyone knows that one of the highest orders of being a gentleman is dressing well. So that narrative fits. My question, though…is why this guy is even getting a nickname? Like, they know his name. His name is Maurice Johns. Doesn’t sound as cool as ‘Gentleman Bandit,’ but you don’t typically hear nicknames when the real name is known.
But, hey – if Belle Meade detectives want to give this guy a nickname, by all means. That’s their prerogative. Now, we know where Belle Meade detectives stand on nicknames. Pretty liberal with them.
Also, the ‘Gentleman Bandit’ is from Louisiana? Sounds like we have the plot for the next season of True Detective. Time is a flat circle when you’re breaking into cars in Belle Meade.
Residents say the suspect was going door to door, selling magazine subscriptions for a company that is currently staging out of Dickson, Tenn.
According to police, the magazine sales company claims it vets its door to door salespeople.
But police say Johns uses several different last names and has a criminal history that may have been overlooked.
They believe the same man was arrested last September in Pocatello Idaho for credit card fraud.
He really is the Gentleman Bandit. A real low-rent criminal James Bond. Been all over the country, presumably dressed well, just committin’ fraud like it ain’t no thang.
Also, do people still buy magazine subscriptions from men going door-to-door? I thought door-to-door sales were pretty well dead. Gone the way of bandits spittin’ on saloon floors and such. That should’ve been the first tip. If anyone comes to my door selling magazines, I’m immediately thinking scam.
That’s why I never answer the door these days without my brass knuckles on.
Anyway, ‘Gentleman Bandit’ is a great moniker. Immediately has to become the best of the modern era. But, where does it rank all time? Is it up there with Doc Holliday, Wild Bill, Kid Rock, and The Unabomber? Tough to say right now.
If you know me, you know I like to pause and reflect before I call something the G.O.A.T. – I won’t say that for the “Gentleman Bandit,” but I will say that it is a doozy.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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