Mosquitos are the deadliest animals in the world. Those nasty sumbitches spread disease like wildfire and multiply exponentially. Every time I go out to the ranch to enjoy a little peace and serenity, it’s inevitable. One of those little shits rams its snout into my skin and I have a Lemonhead sized itchy bump or five on my body for weeks. I hate them. I hate them with every fiber of my being. And, now, science is calling for the mass release of dozens of thousands of mosquitos into the wild. W. T. F.
On an early spring morning, a humming drone hovered over a small town in Bahia, Brazil. Three hundred feet above ground, a small canister clicked open, ejecting its contents into the mouth of the release mechanism below. For a moment, there was silence. Then, a swarm of mosquitoes, freshly awoken from icy slumber, stretched their wings and took flight.
Each specimen was male, single and ready to mingle—and if all went as planned, the buzzing horde of eager virgins would steadily infiltrate the local mosquito population, coupling up with thousands of lucky ladies in the days to come.
This sounds like the start of a horror movie. Have we no other choice? Must we send 50,000 skeeters out into the wilds of Earth? This is like Jurassic Park, but much much harder to keep up with. Could you imagine watching Jurassic Park, but instead of giant brontosauruses running around, you had to keep up with thousands of mosquitos flying around?
For the past two years, a team of scientists and engineers from WeRobotics and the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) has been testing new ways to disperse sterile male mosquitoes into regions where these deadly diseases run rampant. The researchers’ first drone-based trial run, conducted this past spring in Brazil, yielded promising results, and they’re already gearing up for more.
“This is a really exciting step forward,” says Kelsey Adams, a mosquito biologist at the Harvard School of Public Health who is not affiliated with the work. “With innovative techniques such as these, we can expand the areas into which we’re releasing [modified mosquitoes].”
The end goal is simple: Crowd out fertile males with eunuchs, and watch the numbers of potential disease-carrying mosquitoes plunge. This so-called sterile insect technique has already yielded success in agricultural pests like fruit flies, and in other bugs that ferry illness from person to person such as tsetse flies. Use of the technology in mosquitoes, however, is a somewhat newer phenomenon.
Okay, so this is literally like fighting fire with fire. “How do we get rid of the skeeters? MORE FUCKING SKEETERS!”
This is utter terror – this is the kind of dark science that birthed Frankenstein’s monster. This is like Stephen King’s warped version of science. I keep waiting to hear John Turturro’s voice say, “you stoled my story.”
You’d hope that if science has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t play with Mother Nature. Well, I’ll tell you folks what – these scientists are playing with her so much, they’re practically fingering her. And, Mother Nature ain’t the type to take too kindly to fingering.
Remember this day when the world is in ruins, and know that at least one man in Nashville, Tennessee warned us all of that fateful day.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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