Waffle mix is apparently a hot commodity on the black market. Who knew? I have so many questions about this story…
Courtesy of the Atlanta Journal Constitution:
If you had big brunch plans, Brandon Lee Nelson was allegedly the guy to call.
The Peachtree City man was arrested earlier this month after police said he committed a sweet, doughy crime: stealing 150 pounds of waffle mix, and then selling it off to others.
Nelson, 33, had a “stream of buyers that would contact him for the waffle mix and he would provide it when contacted,” Peachtree City police spokesperson Lt. Odilia Bergh told AJC.com on Thursday. “He is the seller of waffle mix.”
According to police, he took five boxes of Golden Malted waffle batter from a storage shed on Dividend Drive. The mix belonged to Nelson’s former employer, so he knew where it was located, Bergh said.
Nelson allegedly drove to the storage facility about 1 p.m. Aug. 31 and pried open the shed. The missing mix was not reported until Sept. 10, when a surveillance video identified Nelson as the suspect, Bergh said. He was arrested at his home later that day on a charge of burglary.
How did we get here? How do you end up stealing 150 pounds of waffle mix from your former employer?
Is this like….Breaking Bad….but with waffles? And, I like the way this author phrased this story…gotta put some pissass into the article I suppose.
What’s that? That’s not how you spell pizazz? Ah, my bad.
Anyway, did the police really say this guy committed a sweet, doughy crime? Is that on the official police report? Also, can we just note that this man stole a person worth of waffle mix? 150 pounds – that’s a person. That’s a lot of waffles.
Where do you find a “stream of buyers” for black market waffles? That Golden Malted must have been that good good. I am a little bothered by the fact they just keep in a storage shed, though. Did the FDA or FFA approve that move? I’m just glad the Belgian waffle cartel didn’t find out about this one, or we might have murders to solve. SMDH.
This article was damn near literally nothing but questions. Also, that “Belgian waffle cartel” may be the hokiest joke I’ve ever made on this website. Cheers.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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