Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
What is the perfect microwave time for a set of @PopTartsUS ?
— Cad P. (@SoBroCadbury) April 11, 2019
Answer:
30 seconds for me. Gotta get it good and gooey – I like strawberry/cherry Pop Tarts, and it feels like the gooier they are, the more of that berry flavor is released. Anything less, and you still have dry Pop Tarts. Anything more, and you’re ruining that shit. 30 seconds is the way to go.
Question:
if a woodchuck could chuck wood, what color would Grimace’s pubes be?
— Beta Ray Greg (@BetaRayGreg) April 11, 2019
Answer:
Do we even know that Grimace has a penis or a vagina? Follow up: do you have to have a penis or a vagina to have pubes?
The thing we need to understand about Grimace is whether he has a purple coat of fur over him or if that’s his skin. If it’s his skin, then fuck if I know anything about his pubes. If it’s a coat of fur, then I think it’s reasonable to deduce that his pubes are purple.
Question:
If you could you commission Xzibit to pimp your ride, what ‘special interest’ would you tell him you had, in order to see how his tacky view would interpret it? (for maximum comedy effect)
— Dom Oxenham-Morris – Tunes to the bime (@doxom85) April 11, 2019
Answer:
It’d have to be my affinity for professional wrestling – can you imagine? I mean…how would you pimp out a ride to celebrate professional wrestling? Putting turnbuckles and ropes on the roof? Slapping a giant WWE logo on it? The possibilities are endless.
Question:
Will @RemadnaWKRN make it back from Brazil alive, and do you have any early predictions as to who will win #GameofThrones?
— Armondo (@mightymondo) April 11, 2019
Answer:
Honestly, Armondo – I’m surprised he’s made it as long as he has. I mean, it looks like he’s having a blast and all, but it’s Brazil. I just hope we don’t read a story about his severed foot washing up on the beach like that story that came out when they did the Summer Olympics there.
Also, I’m #TeamNightKing all the way. That’s my pick and I’m hitching the wagon to it.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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