It is officially pumpkin season. People are going bat shit crazy for pumpkin everything. Who cares that it’s still a hundred degrees here in Nashville? Who gives a shit that people are dehydrating from being outside for longer than five minutes!?!? Do not let that get in the way of enjoying a good pumpkin latter. Well, folks – today, I will share with you what could possibly be the most controversial opinion I have ever had about anything that has ever existed.
I have always prided myself on being a transparent and honest opinionist. I cannot say that I am a big time hot take guy. But, I feel as though I am joining that sect of writers today. I have quite the hot take for you.
The pumpkin latte at Dunkin Donuts is way better than the famous pumpkin spice latte, or PSL, from Starbucks.
Let that sink in for a minute if you need to – I promise, I am not just trying to rattle cages to increase viewership for my morning talk show on ESPN. I genuinely believe this.
Here is why: it all comes down to the sweetness for me.
The PSL at Starbucks is enjoyable, no doubt about that. But, it is way too sweet for me to consume first thing in the morning. Sometimes, I drink a PSL and I can feel my blood taking on the texture of sugar as it courses through my veins. After 2PM? Forget about it – I will literally puke.
With Dunkin, I get a more legit coffee flavor, it gives me a nice little perk, and I don’t sit at my desk for the next hour at the day job wondering if I am going to vomit or not.
Dunkin gets the resounding stamp of approval from this degenerate writer.
Oh, and if you are wondering about how and why I came to this conclusion, it is solely because I panic-ordered a pumpkin latte at the Dunkin Donuts off Briley Parkway about a week ago.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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