Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
Joe Rogan has me prepared for alien life form. Do they exist? What say you? Are they friendly?
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) October 17, 2019
Answer:
Absolutely, bruh – ain’t no way we’re the only creatures of high intelligence in the entirety of existence. I hope I get to meet one day, so if any aliens happen to be reading this, feel free to introduce yourself. Just please don’t be creepy about it. I jump scare easily, so if you could…like…RSVP on Facebook first, that’d be great.
I don’t know if they’re friend, Patrick. They might literally stab me and eat me, but that’d be a pretty sick way to go so whatever, I guess.
Question:
Is the season low for the Titans gonna be that loss to the POS Broncos?
— Mosehausen (@SoBroMose) October 24, 2019
Answer:
Definitely feels like that was the wake-up call for this coaching staff – like, “holy shit – we gotta do something….this shitty Broncos offense is about to blank us.” We might look back at this game come season’s end and say it was the turning point. They were willing to end the Marcus Mariota era over it, man. I hope that was as low as it gets in 2019.
Question:
What's the best Thai place in Nashville?
— Woody (@woodfinx) October 24, 2019
Answer:
Woody, I would love to tell you but I’m afraid I don’t know. Since Thai Phooket and Taki closed, I haven’t been able to find anything remotely close. Saigon Basil in Mount Juliet was decent, but not the same as either of those. Plus, the pho is so good, why would you want Thai there?!!? Maybe I need to make this a personal quest of mine. Gotta find that good good Thai.
Question:
If you had to fight any mythical creature (loch Ness monster, Moth man, big foot, werewolf, etc.) which would it be and how would you go about fighting it?
— Lanehausen (@ThatsGottaBLane) October 24, 2019
Answer:
I know our guy Justin from Wrestling Cheers had the clearest, most logical answer to this: a vampire at high noon. But, I gotta entertain my ego here, Lane.
I wanna square up man to man with Bigfoot and see how I measure up. Probably not the smartest idea, but I carry the weight of wondering with me every single day. Yes, that’s right – I think about whether or not I could beat Bigfoot in a shoot fight every day.
I don’t fuck with stuff in water.
The mothman is going to fuck up your head, so you won’t even stand a chance against him.
So, if I’m not going Bigfoot here, I think I’d take the werewolf. The secret to fighting a werewolf would be to offer up your non-dominant hand. Like, I’m a Southpaw, so if a werewolf came at me, I’d let him tear into my right arm and then hook around with the ol’ left-handed Jack Johnson and knock him out cold.
Question:
Two parter-
— Righteousjesse (@RighteousJesse) October 24, 2019
1. What’s the official Halloween candy of the SoBros?
2. What candy/candies are you passing out to trick or treaters this year?
Answer:
- That’s tough because I’m an old man and the candy I like, everyone else seems to hate. So, I don’t entirely feel comfortable speaking on behalf of the entire team here. Like….I’m gonna say the candy corn pumpkins. I eat about 10 pounds of those things every October. But, candy corn seems to be divisive, so maybe I should just roll with Reese’s?
- I’ll be passing out savings bonds, sir. Much more beneficial to our youth than candy.
Question:
What costume do we really need a sexy version of right now in 2019
— Fiend T. Casanova (@Xenoxands) October 24, 2019
Answer:
I don’t know if it’s just because I re-read Rooster’s piece on the Mothman earlier this week, and we’re gearing up for an episode of Phone It In on the Mothman or what, but I’m in a big Mothman mood, so I’m going to say ‘sexy Mothman.’
Just think of the creativity it would take to engineer that. I love art. I love sex. I love the Mothman. Combine it all together and it is INSTANT erection for me.
That’s the shit that sells right there.
Question:
What was your most favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as when you were a kid? Or even as an adult?
— Armondo (@mightymondo) October 24, 2019
Answer:
Honestly, the only costume I remember from my childhood is “Macho Man” Randy Savage and that’s because it had one of those plastic masks that cut the shit out of my face and I took it off halfway through the night. So, I was just a kid running around in a bright jumpsuit for most of the night.
I was a bottle of ketchup when I initially met my girlfriend of eight years now, so that one stands out. I was also Bob Mueller once in 2005. My girlfriend and I dressed up as nerds one year, too – SoBro Stan was in town for that one, and helped us sneak legitimate moonshine into a Preds game, where we got BLOWED UP. I found a receipt in my pocket for 36 drinks the next morning, and I woke up face down on the floor with my face buried in a pile of five McDouble wrappers.
In general, though, I am staunchly against the idea of dressing up in costume as an adult. Just seems like a poor financial decision – what are you really getting for that investment? Some funny photos that are only relevant once a year? I’d rather put money in my Robinhood account and lose it because I invest in shit like Fitbit.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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