In our never ending quest to provide all of our readers with relatable, ‘slice of life’ style content, we here at the SoBros Network feel the time to weigh in on social commentary has officially come. It’s once again time for me, Big Natural, to open up the leather-bound parchment pages of the annals of history. Put on your plush robe, light your pipe, start a fire, and get ready for deep contemplation. This is the as-often-as-I-remember-to-write-it column: Forgotten Treasures of Americana. Today, we will be looking back at the classic and underrated film, Muppet Treasure Island.
Those of you who already know me know that I saw a very small handful of movies that were made before the year 2000. In fact, prior to becoming an adult and watching some of the old classics, that number was…maybe…five movies I had actually seen from the time I was born in 1986 to the time I started going to movies in 2000. But, I made damn sure that one of those movies was the 1996 hit classic Muppet Treasure Island.
Folks, a lot of movies were made before 1996. A lot of movies have been made since 1996. Lost in that seemingly endless sea of film is this classic re-telling of a time-honored tale as old as time (maybe – I’m not sure when Treasure Island was written, but it’s so good and so epic that the basic elements of storytelling seem to have been derived from it. So, that makes me think it was probably the first work of fiction ever)…but with muppets.
Witty, lively, and comforting fucking muppets.
Except…hang on…the cast of humans in this movie was phenomenal. Tim Curry, anyone? He’s actually the only person on this cast that I know, but Tim Curry’s presence in any film instantly makes it an all-time great cast.
This film made a profit of three million dollars and finished third at the box office on its opening weekend (behind Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore). It has an average rating of 6.2/10 on Rotten Tomatoes, which is above average (average would be five in case you guys didn’t know). So, I think it’s safe to say that it was a roaring success.
But, on the most basic of levels, the film was simply a shining tribute to the grand spirit of piracy. Piracy is so huge these days that I don’t think we truly appreciate where it came from. When we talk about the greatest films of the 1990s, Muppet Treasure Island deserves a little more credit. Please remember to always respect this film in my presence from now on.
FORGOTTEN TREASURES OF AMERICANA ARCHIVES
3D Doritos
3OH!3
AIM
American Gladiators
The Basilisk
The Bermuda Triangle
Braided Belts
Citizen’s Arrest
Hasbro WWF Action Figures
Homework
Mama’s Family
Playing Outside
Quicksand
That Marilyn Manson rumor…
The Super Soaker 50
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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