As a writer, I draw inspiration from a number of places. Sometimes, I’m just reporting the news. Sometimes, I see something that makes me think, and then I think, “HMMMM….if I’m thinking, I bet SoBros Network readers will be thinking, and if SoBros Network readers are thinking, then that’s good because everyone always says that good writers “make you think.”” And, then – yeah sometimes, I just see a funny meme or video and laugh. Today, though, folks – we have a story that is a combination of all of them. It’s led me to determining the official SoBros Network Beer Power Rankings.
It’s a meme. It makes you think, but I also think this is really important journalism to do because I don’t know that anyone has done it before. Here’s the original source, thanks to Darb on Twitter.
View this post on InstagramI smell a SoBros Power Rankings coming on…
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Alright…now, let’s take a stab at this thing…
SoBros Network Beer Power Rankings
10. The Sunday afternoon beer garden beer – I enjoy a good Sunday Funday, but I don’t know that there’s any crash that’s harder than the one when the Sunday Scaries hit you in the midst of a Sunday Funday. That’s why this one’s so low on the list.
9. The “straight to the pub from work” beer – This one ranks lower because there’s still a step in between the work bullshit and relaxing at home (the drive home). I enjoy a good after-work beer, but I catch myself looking at my watch far too often, and you can’t really let loose because you have to keep it together enough to successfully make the drive home, y’know?
8. The airport beer – You’ll notice that several of the beers on this list are “kickoff” beers, and the airport beer is no different. There’s nothing like the relief of getting through security with enough time to comfortably get your beer before you set off on your adventures, wherever they may take you.
7. The important beer – If you’re drinking for a reason – celebrating a promotion, an accomplishment, something like that – there’s a nice feeling that comes along with it. It’s a nice little moment of reflection. So, if you’re drinking the important beer, you gotta know you’ve done something to earn it. And, that feels good.
6. The “take the edge off the day” beer – You know the one – take your shoes off and go sit on the porch. One beer. One cigarillo. We’re good. We’re ready to proceed with the day.
5. The day-drinking kickoff beer – It’s 10 or 11 in the morning. You’re about to go out for a day filled with debauchery. You might make it home in an ambulance. There’s just so much optimism in the air as you crack open that first can.
4. The shower beer – How dare this meme not include the fabled shower beer? I don’t know that anything in the world gets your mind right quite like the shower beer. It’s the perfect opportunity to take a moment, reset, and regroup.
3. The beach/lake beer – The beach/lake beer is synonymous with summer time. I mean, if you aren’t drinking booze next to a large body of water, are you even summering, bro? Maybe this is a hot take, but beer is never as refreshing as it is when you’re posted up by the ocean or lake.
2. The pregame beer – This one’s listed in the meme above as ‘the hotel balcony 7PM beer’ and that’s about accurate. It only differs from #5 in the time of day. There is nothing quite like these ‘calm before the storm’ beers. Like, you’ve got your hotel room booked…y’all are just sittin’ around gearin’ up for a big night out, and your pounding something to get you on a good base level for the adventures to come. I love it.
1. The Friday before Christmas beer – Man, it’s my G.O.A.T. beer undoubtedly. I hope all of you get to take a little vacation time at the end of the year. If not, man that fucking sucks. I don’t feel like you truly appreciate this one unless you do get that time at the end of the year to rest and recharge.
Those of you who know me well know that the last two weeks of the year – that period of time between December 20th-ish through January 5th-ish is practically sacred to me. I work pretty damn hard year round, but that’s the one time of the year I make a point to stop, rest, relax, and refocus. So, for me, that first beer of the holiday break is sweet, sweet nectar. I’m actually getting chills just thinking about it.
What’s your favorite beer? Hit the comments below.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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