Florida, man….fucking Florida. Things just seem to be getting wilder and wilder out there. On a recent episode of the SoBros Power Hour, John Mosley and myself dug into the story about a bill passing that would allow drones to fight invasive pythons. Now, we got a story about a big ol’ snake orgy closing down a damn park.
Courtesy of The Gainesville Sun:
The Lakeland Parks & Recreation department wrote on its Facebook page that a group of non-venomous water snakes congregated to mate near a traffic roundabout.
Fair warning. If you click that link, there’s a whole lot of weird snake shit and dumbass clickbait links on the actual article. I felt my heart skip a beat seeing the inside of snake’s mouth comin’ at me. Just gotta cite my source, y’know?
Anyway, let’s get to this story.
Is it a coincidence that just a few short weeks ago, news broke about Florida using drones to fight off snakes and now suddenly, the snakes are gettin’ together to bang out a bunch of baby snakes? I think not. You might call it coincidence. I call it reinforcements.
The war on humans is taking another dramatic turn as the animals attempt to take back the Earth from people. Just when we think we have a big win in the important battleground state of Florida (where the animal kingdom seems to already be succeeding in taking back the Earth – it’s practically two more large alligators away from being Jurassic Park), the big snake orgy comes along and snatches that victory away from us.
Am I also allowed to ask….what do snakes look like when they fuck? My brain went there. I don’t really mean it. I don’t want to know. Nobody show me. I regret ever typing that out.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Become a Patron. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Watch on YouTube.
