Stoney Sees: Forrest Gump

"Big Natural" Stoney Keeley weighs in with his thoughts on the 1992 classic Forrest Gump, starring Tom Hanks, after seeing it for the first time.

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Some of you might already know this about me, but I’ll share it for the rest of the room. I could probably count the number of movies I’ve seen that were made before the year 2001 on both hands. No real reason for it – I just wasn’t a big movie kid growing up. I didn’t really start watching movies until I was in high school and we started going to the mall every Friday night. For some reason, there’s a contingent of the SoBros Network team and fan base that really want me to watch some of the classics of yesteryear. So, I figured I’d do that and document the experiences of seeing some of these classics for the first time in 2020. Today, we’re watching Forrest Gump. These are my notes.

Stoney Sees: Forrest Gump

*I was informed that Tom Hanks only makes documentaries, so first things first, I have to recognize his ability to shine a light on a lot of the issues facing America in its history.

*It’s so weird to see Tom Hanks as such a dashing young man. How handsome.

*Oh, this motherfucker can run.

*I love Gary Sinise. I didn’t know he was in this movie.

*Wait – Bubba Gump is an actual person? I figured Bubba Gump was a food chain in this movie same as it is in Gatlinburg.

*Lieutenant Dan on New Year’s Eve is forever a mood.

*I hate that Forrest fell so in love with Jenny.

*Jumping off that boat, leaving no one to captain it, made my anxiety shoot through the fuckin’ roof.

*I know this is a documentary, but I just can’t believe that someone can run across the country so unobstructed without getting severely dehydrated and tired.

*Man, y’all are fucked up for letting that man sit on that bench this whole time when his destination was two fuckin’ blocks away.

*I really don’t like the death in this movie. It’s not cool movie death. It’s very much heart-wrenching movie death.

*I did like how the story of Forrest Gump was interwoven into some of the key moments in U.S. history through the era.

My overall star rating: 6.42/10.

My fear, as we work our way through some of the classics, is that they’re all going to be so hyped up by everyone that I’m just naturally going to want to not like them. I can’t help it – that’s just the way I am. If everyone tells me I should like something, I’m not going to like it. Fuck me. Anyway, I’ll do my best to avoid falling into that trap.

What should I watch next? Hit the comments.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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