Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football column here on the SoBros Network, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, Stoney and Stan team up to offer their three locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros Gambling Picks.
STAN’S PICKS
Warren Buffet said something along the lines of ‘getting rich is easy, but the issue is, no one wants to get rich slowly.’ I have been living that here lately. Another 2-1 week. I am happy to get all the #tankthe401k followers rich slowly. I think this is the week we break out and go 4-0.
So, if you are more of a get-rich-now buy, here we go! Taking 4 games since I had a game canceled a few weeks back due to covid. This will bring the total games played in line with the big guy.
*Thursday Night Delight (2-0)* – the trap play here is Tulsa. It seems too easy. Not going to fall for it and am going to take the Over 53.5.
Indiana +20.5 – They have to have more pride than to lose by 21. Undefeated and getting no respect. Step up Indiana!
Cleveland -3.5 – I was too big of a p-word to take the Browns in my survivor pool, so naturally they will win in a blowout.
Dolphins -3 – The Broncos stink and Tua continues to grow. Dolphins seem to have some pep in their step.
Let’s get rich!
Stan is the Chief of Debauchery for SoBros Network. A native of the Northeast, he is a diehard fan of the New York Yankees, but no, he does not wear a big gold chain and backwards hat. Nor does he drink Heinekens. Follow on Twitter: @sobrostan.
Stoney’s Picks
Only I could have my best weekend of legal betting yet in the state of Tennessee and still manage to get one of my picks wrong a week ago. But, I’m not gonna dwell on the negative – I’m gonna dwell on the energy Stan and I have going – 8-4 in our last 12 picks – to the moon, baby! Let’s keep this money train rollin’ motherfuckers! By the way, LOVE the over in the Tulsa game, Stan – let’s hammer that shit.
Coastal Carolina -5.5 – If the Chanticleers are going to keep this dream season alive, they have to FINALLY get over the big App State Mountaineers hump in the Sun Belt. But, at home with Grayson McCall playing lights out, I think they get done. Not worried about any unexpected covid bye week rust at all. How about that? A little Fun Belt action on Tank the 401k this week!
Patriots -2 – The Pats can climb right back into this wild card race in the AFC with a win over the lowly Texans. If it turns into a shootout, then I like the Texans to keep this competitive, but I think Bill Belichick is going to have this team smelling blood in the water. Ground and pound, baby.
Packers +2 – It’s wild – I think the Packers are better off on the road in this contest instead of going ‘ground game vs. ground game’ with the Colts at Lambeau. Aaron Rodgers is having an MVP type of season, and he’ll be able to spread the ball around in that stadium in Indianapolis on Sunday. I don’t think you’re going to catch the Packers sleeping much longer as this team starts to get healthy at the skill positions on offense.
SEASON STATS
- Stan’s 2020 W-L: (15-11) – 58%
- Stan Last Week: (2-1)
- Stoney’s 2020 W-L: (13-14) –48%
- Stoney Last Week: (2-1)
- SoBros 2020 W-L: (28-25) – 53%
- SoBros Last Week: (4-2)
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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