Guys, I am so excited to share this news. It’s officially holiday food and drink season. That’s right – just this morning, I stopped by my Starbucks and picked up a chestnut praline latte. The sugar plum cheese danish is back. I’ve already bought some butter cookies at the store. It is full-blown GAME ON for the 2020 holiday season – I’m callin’ it.
Well over across the pond (it’s still cool to say ‘across the pond’ right?) Mark & Spencer are getting in on the festivities, and rolling out their hybrid doughnuts (sounds terrifying, actually…) with a Christmas twist – Santa’s Yumnut.
Who wants a bite of Santa’s Yumnut™? Our yum yum-doughnut hybrids have been given a Christmassy makeover, with delicious flaky pastry layers and a sweet Santa’s belt topping. Find them in our in store bakery. pic.twitter.com/BcWwxOo26r
— M&S (@marksandspencer) November 5, 2020
That’s right – they even trademarked it. Now, these sumbitches definitely look delicious….but I see that it’s called “yumnut” and I have questions. I want to know exactly what they’re putting in these doughnuts. Just a precaution, y’know? You gotta be careful these days, and I’m not sure what Mark & Spencer here are trying to get at.
Not that anyone would be surprised that Santa’s load tastes like pure sugar. I think that’s actually the expectation if you were to ask most reasonable adults. How do you think he’s kept Mrs. Claus satisfied all these years? ‘Cause the head taste like eatin’ doughnuts.
That’s the play here, and boy I never thought I’d be writing about the state of Santa’s wad. Here we are – SoBros Network, never say never.
Real talk – this is absolutely brilliant – I have no idea who these people are, but now I’m writing about ’em for the whole world to see. They have to know that every dick joke blog in the world is going to be writing about this. A+ job, guys. Take a victory lap. SoBros Network is not going to do these people any good from here in Nashville, Tennessee, but it’s the principle that counts. You guys know what I’m saying.
Now, who wants a bite of Santa’s Yumnut?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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