Super Bowl Halftime Shows Ranked from Worst to Best

Steven McCash ranks all of the Super Bowl halftime shows from Elijah Wood to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

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The Big Game is this Sunday and over the years, the spectacle of everything that takes place the day of the Super Bowl has come to often overshadow the game itself. Universally, everyone’s favorite part of the game is the commercials and many people would rather miss actual game time to run to the fridge or bathroom then miss a Bud Light commercial.

For others, their favorite part of the day is the Super Bowl Halftime Show. After 1993, the NFL made a deliberate effort to attract top performers for the halftime shows after Michael Jackson completely changed the game with his earth-shattering performance. Now, the NFL did not always kick it up through the uprights but more times than not the kick was good.

The Weeknd will take to the biggest stage of his career and place himself along some of the biggest names in music history. He will be aligned with musical greats like John Goodman, Jessica Simpson, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and of course Elijah Wood.

The Super Bowl Halftime Show is in its 55^th incarnation but before 1993 it was mainly a filler to pass the time between halves. Long gone are the days of marching bands, salutes to music eras long gone or to the silver screen. Now the presentation is top notch with the biggest names in the music business partnered with phenomenal stage sets, intricate choreography and costume changes.

28. The Black Eyed Peas

This show was just a hot mess from the jump from the numerous audio issues to there appearing to be no energy at all amongst the group. Never in the history of the world did anyone ask for or want to hear Fergie sing “Sweet Child of Mine” while Slash plays guitar.

27. Tapestry of Nations

This looked like something straight out of an Olympic opening ceremony. Christina Aguilera was here to sing with Enrique Iglesias. Sadly, this was two years before she became “Dirrty.” Can you imagine how much better this show would have been with that Christina compared to “Reflection” Christina.

Mr. Sussudio is here and I am not sure completely why but if you are going to have Toni Braxton perform can she please sing “Un-Break My Heart” instead of whatever song that was.

26. Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye

What in the holy fuck is happening here? So, they brought the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular! from Disney to the Super Bowl and threw in Patti Labelle and Tony Bennet and thought nobody would notice how strange that was. Ok.

This happened during my time experimenting with drugs and I am so happy I did not see this live while on something or I would probably be in rehab for the 27^th time now.

25. Maroon 5 with Travis Scott, Big Boi

Just like Coldplay this was not a good pick and I kind of like Maroon 5. I honestly do not think I watched this at all that year because I don’t remember any of it. They do sound good though but their music is better set for headlining Hangout Fest.

Spongebob? WTF is he doing here? Are people still into Spongebob?

Sure, it makes total sense to have Travis Scott come out because when I think of Maroon 5 Travis Scott is the first name that pops into my head.

This Super Bowl was in Atlanta and you didn’t even try to get Ludacris, Usher, TLC or even let D4L do 20 minutes of Laffy Taffy instead of Adam and the boys.

24. The Blues Brothers Bash

Was this at all necessary? Who thought ever thought that the Blues Brothers was a way to increase ratings? Not even John Belushi could have saved this train wreck.

Let this set in; John Goodman, Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi have all played the Super Bowl Halftime Show but David Bowie never did plus megastars like Garth Brooks and Jay-Z haven’t.

James Brown and ZZ Top tried to save this dumpster fire but it was too late.

23. Rockin’ Country Sunday

Super Bowl goes to Nashville. Clint Black, Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt and the Judds bring country music to the big game.

I honestly boot scoot boogied my way to the kitchen during this and remember nothing of it.

Why in the hell is 13-year-old Elijah Wood singing on stage with Stevie Wonder and Charlie Daniels during the finale?

22. Stevie Wonder, Gloria Estefan, and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Remember the six months in the late ‘90s where swing music tried to take over the world? The 90s were fucking weird, man. It would have been much cooler if the true king of the swing revival Brian Setzer would have been there instead of these guys.

Do you see this shit? I knew Stevie Wonder wasn’t really blind. The man is driving a fucking car on his way to the stage.

21. The Who

Everyone under the age of say 25 was so fucking pissed by this selection. I really like the Who but feel their choice for the show was about 10 years too late as Roger’s voice is really struggling at times during the performance. If they wanted to have an older rock group in this slot imagine who energizing someone like AC/DC would have been.

20. Shania Twain, No Doubt and Sting

The budget must have been cut that year as this looks more like the Cotton Bowl Halftime Show than the Super Bowl. Looking back was there anyone bigger than Shania Twain in 2003?

The pop-punk princess is here with her boys to sing “I’m Just a Girl” before Captain Tantric arrives to save the day. Never need to hear Gwen sing Message in the Bottle ever again.

Think of how amazing it would have been to just let Shania do the whole show alone or pony up the money to fast track the Police reunion of 2007.

19. Coldplay with Beyonce and Bruno Mars

I already know I hate this one before even re-watching it. Not a fan of the group but I do recognize they are a great band. They are a massively successful band but their music just doesn’t scream Super Bowl to me.

Pepsi realized how bad of a choice they made in Coldplay so they begged Beyonce and Bruno to come save them.

Can I please have more Beyonce/Bruno collaborations please?

18. Boyz II Men, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Martha and the Vandellas and Queen Latifah

I will always enjoy a good Motown tribute and this did not disappoint at all. The Super Bowl halftime show was so innocent when Radio City Music Hall was producing it and then MTV had to go and fuck everything up years later.

17. Bruce Springsteen

This does nothing for me as I am not a huge fan of the Boss but clearly must acknowledge the legend that he is. The E. Street Band is honestly one of the tightest bands in music and it is always good to see Max Weinberg on my tv.

16. Tom Petty

Tom Petty’s selection was the first of three straight years of choosing artist that satisfied middle-aged white men as Bruce Springsteen and The Who were to follow before the Black Eyed Peas set the halftime show back a decade.

Petty was great on this stage and easily pleased the crowd as he and the Heartbreakers streamed through the hits “American Girl,” “I Won’t Back Down,” “Free Fallin’” and “Runnin’ Down a Dream.”

15. Justin Timberlake

Arguably one of the biggest names in music today, Justin Timberlake finally got a chance to correct his wrongs on his third Super Bowl Halftime Show. Can we just agree that “Filthy” is such an underrated song? He finally makes his way to the stage while singing the most controversial song in Super Bowl history. The transition from Senorita into Sexy Back works so damn good

I will neither confirm nor deny I teared up during his Prince tribute.

14. Bruno Mars with the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Bruno just pops up on the drums demanding the stage and says, ‘fuck a song, you’re getting a drum solo to start the set and you’ll like it.’

Still do not fully understand why he didn’t have the show to himself or why the Red Hot Chili Peppers didn’t have their own full show because both have a catalogue full of mad hits.

Anyone else notice that Anthony Kiedis looks like he’s cosplaying as Justin Long here? Plus, I love Will Ferrell on the drums here. Am I the only that thinks Justin Long and Will Ferrell could start a great RHCP cover band?

13. Aerosmith, N’Sync, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, Nelly

This show easily had the best intro ever of any Super Bowl Halftime Show. Ben Stiller just had me rolling with “Ok that N’sucked.”

Lou Pearlman’s wet dream is out first and I cannot help but think of why JC’s solo career never really took off he was clearly the best member of N’Sync. Why on god’s green earth did Aerosmith sing the damn Armageddon song instead of something like “Love in an Elevator?”

WTF? JT just shot flames from his fingers? He could’ve burnt someone’s titty doing that.

Cannot lie, “Walk this Way” was pretty awesome and damn Britney was so fine here. I say we start a petition to get Britney on the 2022 Super Bowl Halftime Show, who’s with me?

12. Paul McCartney

The Mecca absolutely blew the non-existent roof off Alltel Stadium. Paul kept his set short and set by rocking through classics “Drive My Car,” “Get Back,” “Live and Let Die” and “Hey Jude.” The only missing was Axl Rose joining Paul for the James Bond classic.

11. The Rolling Stones

Mick and the gang came to do one thing and one thing only and that is to rock assess. They crushed their three-song set of “Start Me Up,” “Rough Justice” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.” Jagger joked that “Satisfaction” could have been played at Super Bowl I.

10. Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga goes all patriot with “God Bless America” to start before channeling her inner Pink during Poker Face. Watching Gaga kill, it has me thinking how much better Madonna’s set would have been if she could have done it 20 years earlier.

It would have mind blowing if Beyonce would have been there for “Telephone” but I guess she just let the call go straight to voicemail. Gaga was giving some serious Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons while playing the keytar during “Just Dance.”

Many were anticipating Lady Gaga to make her entire performance one big political statement but instead delivered one of the best Halftime Shows in history.

9. Madonna with Nicki Minaj, M.I.A., LMFAO and Cee-Lo Green

The show began with a very energetic start with Vogue and Music and at 52 there was no denying how amazing of a performer Madonna is. Big fan of the tightrope guy bouncing all around.

Man do I miss LMFAO and was happy to see them on stage. Does anyone remember what the M.I.A. outrage was for because if it was just her giving the camera the finger then I guess no one remembers Stone Cold Steve Austin giving the double bird every Monday night on Monday Night Raw.

Madonna was once again proved to the haters to never count her out. Haven’t people learned enough by now that Madge is constantly reinventing herself even to this day.

8. Michael Jackson

For me, this is the first Super Bowl Halftime Show. This is where the NFL discovered that they could truly monetize it and make it an event.

MJ just stood firm in the middle of the stage without a single emotion on his face as tens of thousands screamed for him. He delivered a performance that only the King of Pop could with blistering performances of “Jam,” “Billie Jean” and “Black or White” before uniting the world with renditions of “We Are the World” and “Heal the World.”

It was the prior Super Bowl that gave the NFL the idea to take the halftime show in a different direction. During the halftime, the Fox network aired a special live episode of In Living Color, one of the first deliberate attempts at counterprogramming. The show drew over 22 million viewers away from the Super Bowl telecast.

7. Diana Ross

Diana is the diva that all divas are measured by. However, whoever directed this show should have been taken out back and put down because the camera cuts and angles are often so godawful at times. Despite all of the production’s gaffs Diana sounded impeccable and gave a rousing performance covering songs throughout her illustrious career. This performance was such a hit that the producers decided to go deep into the soundtrack of the sixties for most of the remaining decade.

6. Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, P, Diddy, Nelly, Kid Rock, Jessica Simpson

‘Welcome to the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show proudly presented by the F.C.C.’

Despite the controversy surrounding the ending of the show it was a very damn good show. With that said would someone please explain to me why Jessica “is this chicken or tuna” Simpson is there.

Diddy couldn’t help but to be everywhere in the early ‘00s and I don’t think Nelly has aged one damn bit since he hit the scene.

Robert James Ritchie tried to get everyone into the pit and love someone. I cannot lie I played the fuck out of Devil Without A Cause back in the day and played the hell out of “Bawitdaba” at the strip club I once dj’d at.

Why couldn’t they have just stopped after Rhythm Nation?

You ever seen someone’s career completely exploded in the time it takes to put them on the glass? I still believe the way Janet was treated and basically blackballed out of the music business for over a decade was downright sexiest.

5. Katy Perry with Missy Elliott and Lenny Kravitz

Katy Perry cosplaying as Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory might be the greatest visual in the history of the halftime show. As Katy is singing “Roar” I cannot help but think where the fuck is Left Shark at?

I recorded and re-watched this show numerous times but Lenny Kravitz singing “I Just Kissed a Girl” is nowhere in my memory bank. Can we agree how awesome it would be if Kravitz got his own halftime show?

There’s my shark! Wait, is Left Shark on my left or Katy’s left because I can never remember. Have I loved the wrong shark all these years?

MISSY “FREAKING” ELLIOTT!!!!

All I truly want from 2021 is a new Missy Elliott album followed by a full-length tour that I’m vaccinated in time to go to.

4. U2

This was the halftime show with emotion as we were merely five months removed from 9/11. The band did not waste time as they focused their set on just three songs. The set kicked off with “Beautiful Day” before segueing into “MLK” where the names of all of those who were lost on that fateful Tuesday were displayed above the stage.

U2 is a band built for the grandest of stages and they did not disappoint at all.

3. Jennifer Lopez and Shakira

Gloria Estefan was the first Latina to headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show and in fact did so three times but it was Shakira and J-Lo that took the bar Estefan set and fired it into outer space.

The two split the duties of the show with the Columbian goddess Shakira setting the energy for the show with “Dare” and “She Wolf” before being joined by Bad Bunny for “Hips Don’t Lie.” No fighting!

Jenny from the Block entered the stage from below and started her set with her name sake song and “Ain’t It Funny” before reggaeton superstar J Balvin joined the Hustlers star for a medley of hits.

J-Lo and Shakira joined forces for “Let’s Get Loud” and “Waka Waka” before leaving the world questioning how in the world Shakira’s hips can do what they do and how J-Lo can work a stripper pole like she just did at the age of 50!

2. Beyonce

Queen Bey was a controversial pick to perform for many but one thing that can never be questioned is here talent and ability to give a performance that millions will be talking about for years. Beyonce delivered a spectacular show in droves.

After the intro, the show really kicked off with her delivering a stirring a cappella rendition of “Love on Top” before really heating things up with “Crazy in Love.” Midway through Beyonce gave us all the one thing we would have bet our lives on happening but were still too scared to bet on, a Destiny’s Child reunion. It was nice of Bey to share the stage with Michelle and Kelly so they could get a pay day to their bills, bills, bills.

She could have easily left the stage after “Single Ladies” and it would have still been a legendary performance but the choice to close with the ballad “Halo” was brilliant as not only is it a song to bring people together it is an excellent song to show off her chops.

1. Prince

Yes, I’m biased. Yes, I saw Prince 38 times in concert not including after shows and ones at his house Paisley Park. With all of that to the side all halftime shows before and after him pale in comparison. I am sorry but facts are facts.

He was not there to promote an album or himself. He was just simply there to rock and melt faces. Hell, half of his set were covers. And then there was the rain. Any other ‘star’ would have shied away from the elements presented that day.

The guitar solo on “Purple Rain” during a down pour is something legends are made and the only thing Prince said when asked if he was worried about the rain was “Can you make it rain harder?”

If you disagree with his halftime show being the greatest of them all just know he is looking down giving you his iconic side eye.

https://youtu.be/7NN3gsSf-Ys

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Steven McCash is the Music Columnist for SoBros Network. He is the pioneer of New Music Friday, highlighting each week’s new releases in the world of music, in addition to the occasional live show review. Follow on Twitter: @MC_Cash75

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