Real King Shit: Housing an Entire Sweet Potato Pie in a Theater

Can't help but appreciate the decision to take a whole sweet potato pie in to see The Addams Family 2.

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Ain’t no care like self-care. That is the name of the game, folks. You have to look out for yourself, ’cause no one else in this whole cold ass world will. That’s what #GinFriday is all about – taking a moment or two each week to slow it down, reflect on life, and appreciate the good in it. That’s the exact type of spirit we are here on this fine Friday morning to celebrate. Thanks to smartphones and the internet, we have all been introduced to a game-changing idea thanks to this king who took self-care to a whole ‘nother and brought an entire sweet potato pie to a screening of The Addams Family 2.

Personally, I love the move. There is no judging here. Just bring a damn fork and go to town on that sumbitch right where it stands. Listen – I’m all for supporting the concessions at the movie theaters. That’s how they make their money, and I want them to make their money so they can stay open. Few things in life are as relaxing as taking a trip down to the Providence Regal Cinemas on a Friday night after you’re a few beers deep with a belly full of chicken tenders from Riverfront Tavern. That’s my sweet spot, folks. I think I took that for granted until the pandemic took it away from me last year. But, if you’re going to be a bad boy….if you’re going to bend the rules, then I think an ENTIRE sweet potato pie is worth risking it all for.

It does raise some questions about the logistics of this move, though. Like, how do you get that thing in there without making a huge mess? I would say you can just tilt it up, and strap it to your belly so that it lays flat against it….throw a shirt on over it, and you’re good to go, right? Well, how do we factor in the flimsy packaging of most store-bought pies these days? If I turn it over, it’s going to spill, no doubt. So, not only is this man a king for having the stones to do this. But, he’s also a wizard for getting it into the theater undetected and unharmed. Amazing stuff.

If this isn’t some inspiration for your relaxing weekend, I don’t know what is. King shit.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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