Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, from Ryan, sitting next to me on the deck at the retreat enjoying the hillside view:
FMK mountain ranges
Answer:
I’m marrying the Smoky Mountains, easily. I can’t imagine a life without my weekend trips to Gatlinburg every few months. I’m going to fuck the Rockies because I want to give them a try, but don’t know if I’m ready to commit to them. What if they’re too overwhelming and I don’t feel a deep sense of connection to them? I’m going to kill the Blue Ridge mountains – aka the fake Smokies.
Question, from Owen, also sitting next to me on the deck at the retreat enjoying the hillside view:
Name 5 climates better than the one on the third floor of this cabin right now.
Answer:
The seventh circle of hell, Antarctica, Brandon’s asshole, inside the corpse of the hollowed-out deer we drove by on the way up, and Mordor.
Question, from Brittany, also sitting next to me on the deck at the retreat enjoying the hillside view:
What’s the one natural disaster that scares you the most?
Answer:
It’s a tsunami, easily. I hate the ocean. I hate water. Nothing terrifies me more than the idea of being overwhelmed by the ocean.
Question, from Brandon, sitting next to me on the deck at the retreat enjoying the hillside view:
What’s your favorite breakfast item?
Answer:
I can eat an entire box of sausage links on my own.
Question, also from Owen, also sitting next to me on the deck at the retreat enjoying the hillside view:
FMK cereal mascots
Answer:
I am fucking Cap’n Crunch – he looks fancy, like he can take me out on a nice date so I want to make sure to give him a little somethin’ somethin’ as a reward. I’m killing the Frosted Mini Wheat wheat guys because they’re fucking annoying. And, I think I’m going to marry Count Chocula ’cause the vibes are right.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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