PSA: Don’t Jump on an Open Fire Hydrant

If your instinct is to run up on a spewing fire hydrant, this public service announcement is for you.

Share This Post

If your instinct is to run up on a spewing fire hydrant, this public service announcement is for you. And, I’ll be honest with you guys…I know for a fact that there are people on this planet whose instinct would be to walk up to a spewing fire hydrant and jump on it to see what would happen. One, I am one of those people. Two…this video actually exists! It’s proof! Evidence in the field that such a thought process exists in a human. But, folks, I’m here to remind you that it’s probably not a good idea to entertain such feelings.

I can’t judge this man. I hope he’s okay, certainly, but I just can’t fault him for wanting to do this because I know my dumb ass would be fighting the urge to do the same exact thing if I happened upon a spewing fire hydrant. How many times is this going to happen in your lifetime? Once? Twice? If you’re lucky, thrice? Point is, it’s not very often! You only have so many opportunities to find out if these things really launch people into the air like you see in the cartoons. It’s been one of the greatest mysteries of my lifetime. Are those skits based in physics? Is there real science behind an animator’s decision to draw that? Or, is it nothing more than lies?! Inquiring minds need to know. Hell, some people may live their entire lives not having the opportunity to test this in the field.

But, it’s just not worth it. For me, it’s the scream that should tell you that. There’s some legitimate concern about this man’s well-being. And, I think that’s what we should take away from this. It looked really fun at first. But then, it looked really bad. Maybe just don’t give into the temptation. Don’t try it. You’re going to hurt yourself. If that thing shoots you off into a crowd, you might hurt some other people too. Some mysteries are better left unsolved. Thank you for attending this public service announcement. Have a great weekend.

If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to ‘The SoBros Power Hour: Nashville’ on Apple Podcasts, follow us on Spotify, or wherever you take in your shows.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

Subscribe to the SoBros Network Patreon here – $5/month gets you instant access to an exhaustive content library of articles, podcasts, and videos created exclusively for our subscribers!

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Get updates and learn from the best

More To Explore